A Mixture of Feelings and Emotions

Devastated is how I felt watching and hearing the news of all the people who have lost their lives and homes and possessions. Devastated is what the countryside looks like ... just burnt earth and blackened trees. Tears of sorrow falling from my eyes for people I don't know but who did not deserve to die this way.

Angry is how I feel knowing that some of these fires have been started by arsonists, twisted people with a fetish for fire ... let them burn in hell I say.

Proud is how I feel seeing the Australian spirit rallying behind those that have lost so much.

Admiration is what I feel for those fire fighters, risking all to save others, and often losing their own in the process.

Respect is what I feel for those people who have to go through the rubble to find and identify the bodies.

Sadness is what I feel for those who were evacuated only to return to nothingness.

Hopelessness is how I feel, for I am so far away and there is little I can do except donate to Red Cross.

Empathy is what I have for those who go to bed tonight ... without someone in their lives - lost to fire ... without a home to return to ... with only the clothes on their back ... to those that continue to fight the fires without rest for days on end.

Hope is what I feel - hope that those that survived are uplifted by the thoughts and prayers of so many strangers who have watched in disbelief as these fires thundered through Victoria like a freight train from hell.

Love is what I send and may in some way it make its way across Australia and into the hearts of those that need it most.

Today

I can't do this anymore

I don't want this pain

I want it all to go away

It can't be here with me today

I can't always be the one

The one who is here for everyone

I can't always be

I just need to be here for me

I can't always be strong

Sometimes my life is wrong

I don't think they understand

All the pain I have to bear

I want it to stop

I want it to go away

It is just not fair

I don't want this blue day

I can't always be the smiling face

I can't always be full of grace

I just can't pretend today

I want it all to go away

No more pain

No more now!

Go away and leave me be

Can't you see

I don't think they have a clue

I don't think they know I'm blue

Can't they see it in my face

Don't they know I need my space

No I don't want to talk

I don't want your sympathy

I just want to walk

Without this pain

I just want to stand

Without always having to sit

I am just so sick of this shit

When did my life become this

Did I really have a choice

When DNA is the one with the voice

Tomorrow better be

A better day for me

I can't do two of these in a row

It's all to hard and I will have to go

Run away and hide

Don't let them know where

Until I feel better inside

Tomorrow will be better

It just has to be

Because today is being horrible to me