Well That F'ing Hurt

First of all Happy New Year lovely people out there in the Blogosphere - hoping that you are all looking forward to a great 2012. May it be filled with love, laughter, happiness and good health. May all your dreams come true, this is my wish for you. xxx

Now onto the F'ing Hurt bit!!!

If you have been reading here for a while you will know that I have a couple of types of arthritis, and pain - especially if standing or walking for long, is something I have become familiar with. During 2011 I have been on 2 different types of medication, both with great side effects like nausea and diarrhoea, hair loss, dry skin and sleepless nights. Just the sort of thing you like to add on the top of Menopause - lol. Although I have lost 8 kgs since the end of July - not a great way to lose weight, but I suppose it is a bonus if you use the glass half full method.

Finally in late November my rhuematologist applied to the Federal Government to see if I could move to the new biological drugs, very expensive, and so to get them at a reasonable price you have to try the older drugs to see if they work. For me, they didn't. Now these new wonder drugs are not tablets or pills but you have to inject them. This is a big deal for me, I remember running around a doctors surgery once when I was a child, to avoid a flu needle - needless to say, I didn't get the needle that time. As I grew up, I can say that I gradually got over my fear of getting needles from someone else (although there is always a little bit of fear there still) and blood tests are like a walk in the park and don't worry me at all. So maybe it is the thought of something going into my body rather than out of it that is my phobia.

But giving myself a needle, well that is a whole different story. So the Doctor asked for an auto-inject pen, like an epi-pen, rather than pre-filled syringes. Like that was going to take away my fear!

So mid-December the approval came through and off my hubby went to the Chemist to get my new meds - you have to take an esky as they need to be kept cold. When he got home we discovered that they had given us the syringes even though the script very clearly said pens.

So after some jumping up and down, the chemist agreed to get the pens in. They took a week and arrived just before Christmas, and they have sat in the fridge, just waiting for me to get up the courage to use them.

Lots of people, kindly suggested having my hubby do the injections for me, but I don't want him to be my nurse, he already does so much for me, and I don't want to cross that line any time soon.

So this morning, when hubby had gone out, I took the pen from the fridge, let it get to room temperature, took off the white cap, swabbed my thigh, applied the pen and then pressed the button. It f'ing hurt like a wasp, bee, and bull ant were all biting me at the same time, not the needle but the fluid, it was like injecting acid under my skin (not that I know what injecting acid would be like but you get the drift). I was so tense about it all, I burst into hysterical sobs, but somehow I held it there until it finished. Which to be honest was only a few seconds, but even afterwards, my thigh stung for quite a while.

So I managed to do it once, now I just have to find the courage to do it again next Sunday, and the Sunday after, and the Sunday after for at least 12 weeks to see if it has made a difference.

All I can say is ... crap, this better work.