Welcome to my blog.

My blog expresses my views and thoughts and in no way intends to offend however that does not guarantee it wont.

I write in a stream of consciousness and sometimes the odd typo or bad grammar may appear - please excuse these.

Please feel free to leave a comment if something inspires you to do so.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Just Some Sentences

It has been bloody hot here and I really feel incredibly grumpy when I am confined to one room of the house (where we have an airconditioner). Today is not so hot (low to mid 30s) and I am enjoying having the house open, but not the sweat which is still happening - sorry TMI?

There must be a fire somewhere close as I just heard the helitaks coming to fill up in the lake near us. Hope they get it out quickly as it is very windy which is not good for fire fighting.

It is 'bring out your dead' day this week and people are trolling the streets picking through other people's discards. It sort of pisses me off - not sure why, but it does.

Our old cat was 18 this month, and every day through this heatwave I thought he might die as the weather has been really hard on him. I keep checking his breathing when he is asleep. Today he is a little more active.

I've not been able to give myself my injection yet, not sure that I will be able to do it. I can not describe the dread that is sitting in my gut. Poor hubby doesn't understand why I am so on edge today, it is just another day to him. But for me it brings up my weakness again, something I need to deal with obviously.

Max has been guarding the house, against the vacuum cleaner and the mop, he runs at them with his hackles up and his tail fat. I think he thinks they are attacking my hubby as he cleans. He is such a funny little cat. Today he caught a gecko, well the tail anyway, the gecko got away. It is a good thing he is not an outside cat, cause he is a hunter extraordinaire - chasing down flies and other bugs what wander inside. Hope the skinks and geckos remember to stay outside in future.

There goes another helitak over the roof, they come in quite low.

Well off to get in the washing, try to find some courage and hopefully sleep better tonight with the cooler change to mid 30's.

Thanks for popping by.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Epic Fail and Other Bits and Pieces

Just a quick update, just in case you are popping by to see if I am here.

To start with I am not going to well with the whole injection thing. After the pain of the first injection (see post here), I woke up on the the following Sunday full of trepidation. I actually felt physically ill. So long story short, I got the injection pen out, let it warm up to room temperature, took myself to the bedroom and promptly had a small breakdown. Well maybe not so small, but after about 30-45 minutes of sobbing and yelling at myself (in my head) I finally got the courage up, pressed the button and nothing happened, the bloody thing did not go off. Well that was the final straw, and the meltdown took on epic proportions. I don't know how kids do this to themselves, and I know there are a lot of kids with arthritis who used this drug. So I sort of went into a dark funk for days, and I couldn't tell anyone (well my hubby knew).

Then the following Saturday night, I got a huge welt on my thigh at the first injection site (12 cms across by 9 cms wide), hot, red and painful. It was worse on the Sunday morning, the day to give myself the 3 injection. So off I went to the GP After Hours at the local hospital, sat there for over 2 hours, finally saw the Doctor and apparently it was a delayed allergic reaction! 14 days after the event no less. So his advice was not to take the 3rd injection, but to go onto anti-histamines and to use the ointment he prescribed and to give myself the injection today.

So on Friday, what do I spy, but a large red area on my big toe, so off to the doctor that afternoon, and I have an infection near my toenail. Her advice, no injection today as I can not use Enbrel if I have an infection.

I saw my normal GP on Wednesday between the GP After Hours and Friday just gone and she phoned my rheumy about the allergic reaction, his advice is to ice the area 10 minutes before injection and to stay on anti-histamines for the next 3 months. Really is it worth all this? My GP also mentioned that a small percentage of people using Enbrel find the pain of the injection (not the needle itself but the solution) so bad that they can not bring themselves to inject. What's the bet that is me???

So on a totally different note, it is so bloody humid here in Perth at the moment that I am really struggling, and let me say it is making me very grumpy to be around. Somehow I don't think a trip to the tropics is going to happen any time soon. Last night the humidity here was hovering between 88-90% from 12am to 4 am, needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. Even now it is back up to 70%, cloudy and feels like it needs to rain. And yes, I am such a tragic that I check the local weather site, which is about 1 km from where I live, on my iPad in the middle of the night - I am turning into my mother (love you Mum).

However, all the humidity is giving my lovely frangipanis a growth and flowering flourish, so here are some photos I thought I would share

This is one of our 2 tricolours although the white is
not so noticeable until they age a little

We have 3 whites

This gorgeous hot pink

And this is one of my new ones, it is called orange-yellow and it is stunning
I still have 3 reds which are not flowering yet and another new one, which is supposed to be pink and white but it has not thrown up any flower spikes yet, but boy is it growing.

Thanks for popping by, and a special thanks to the wonderful Elephant's Child for all her support via email.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy Birthday Mum

Today my Mum celebrates her 80th birthday. It will be a small celebration with family rather than a big party. A lot of her friends are no longer with us, so my family will pop on down for afternoon tea and share some cake and a cuppa.

Through all the ups and downs of her life, she is still smiling (most of the time), although like me, pain is her constant companion. She doesn't get out and about much any more, but has connections all over the world though FaceBook and emails. Given she didn't get a computer till she was in her 70's she's done pretty well in picking it all up. Oh and she also blogs over at A Geriatric Grandmother

With my 4 children (her grand-children) and her two great grand-daughters in April 2008
(my brother's two children are missing from the photo)

With her lovely other half, my step-father

So Mum, Happy Birthday. I love you so much and thank you for all you have done throughout my life. You know the times that you have been there for me. I hope that the years ahead are kind to you and that you have many more birthday celebrations to come.

Love you xxx

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Well That F'ing Hurt

First of all Happy New Year lovely people out there in the Blogosphere - hoping that you are all looking forward to a great 2012. May it be filled with love, laughter, happiness and good health. May all your dreams come true, this is my wish for you. xxx

Now onto the F'ing Hurt bit!!!

If you have been reading here for a while you will know that I have a couple of types of arthritis, and pain - especially if standing or walking for long, is something I have become familiar with. During 2011 I have been on 2 different types of medication, both with great side effects like nausea and diarrhoea, hair loss, dry skin and sleepless nights. Just the sort of thing you like to add on the top of Menopause - lol. Although I have lost 8 kgs since the end of July - not a great way to lose weight, but I suppose it is a bonus if you use the glass half full method.

Finally in late November my rhuematologist applied to the Federal Government to see if I could move to the new biological drugs, very expensive, and so to get them at a reasonable price you have to try the older drugs to see if they work. For me, they didn't. Now these new wonder drugs are not tablets or pills but you have to inject them. This is a big deal for me, I remember running around a doctors surgery once when I was a child, to avoid a flu needle - needless to say, I didn't get the needle that time. As I grew up, I can say that I gradually got over my fear of getting needles from someone else (although there is always a little bit of fear there still) and blood tests are like a walk in the park and don't worry me at all. So maybe it is the thought of something going into my body rather than out of it that is my phobia.

But giving myself a needle, well that is a whole different story. So the Doctor asked for an auto-inject pen, like an epi-pen, rather than pre-filled syringes. Like that was going to take away my fear!

So mid-December the approval came through and off my hubby went to the Chemist to get my new meds - you have to take an esky as they need to be kept cold. When he got home we discovered that they had given us the syringes even though the script very clearly said pens.

So after some jumping up and down, the chemist agreed to get the pens in. They took a week and arrived just before Christmas, and they have sat in the fridge, just waiting for me to get up the courage to use them.

Lots of people, kindly suggested having my hubby do the injections for me, but I don't want him to be my nurse, he already does so much for me, and I don't want to cross that line any time soon.

So this morning, when hubby had gone out, I took the pen from the fridge, let it get to room temperature, took off the white cap, swabbed my thigh, applied the pen and then pressed the button. It f'ing hurt like a wasp, bee, and bull ant were all biting me at the same time, not the needle but the fluid, it was like injecting acid under my skin (not that I know what injecting acid would be like but you get the drift). I was so tense about it all, I burst into hysterical sobs, but somehow I held it there until it finished. Which to be honest was only a few seconds, but even afterwards, my thigh stung for quite a while.

So I managed to do it once, now I just have to find the courage to do it again next Sunday, and the Sunday after, and the Sunday after for at least 12 weeks to see if it has made a difference.

All I can say is ... crap, this better work.


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