Menopause and the Biological Clock

Readers please note (especially if you are one of my children) this story may contain references to sex and other medically scary facts that may scar you for life - so read on at your own risk!!

Somewhere deep inside my earth mother rotund body the last few eggs can hear a clock ticking ever louder. With every tick they know their days are numbered, who will be the last, can they still do the job they where put here to do? Why didn't they get to make the jump earlier? Now they are a little harder and a little less fertile - but they can but try.

Little do they know that my partner has had the snip, 26 years ago almost to the month, but what if somewhere deep inside his body a sole survivor - the last remaining sperm - has been slowly, every so slowly unpicking the sutures and building a bridge, a bridge to the other side. What if that way is now clear.

What if my once fertile body, suddenly feels like having a last go at motherhood and is secretly preparing my uterus for that last egg and that sole surviving sperm. What if indeed?

Women in their 50s fall pregnant more often than is discussed, they often think they have gone through menopause because their periods have stopped, but then nature surprises them with a break-through ovulation - that last egg and lo and behold they find themselves pregnant. They are then faced with the burden of choosing to continue with the pregnancy or to terminate. Now I am not making this up, it is not fiction, my doctor recently mentioned to me to be careful - obviously forgetting that hubby had had the snip (or maybe she thinks I play around?) - because it happens, it is far more common than we are lead to believe.

So just in case there is that one surviving sperm that has spent the years biding its time and building bridges - condoms are the way for us, for at least the near future. Yes we still do have sex and enjoy it - even though we are old (that was for my children - if they have read this far) - so yes it is TMI and all the rest, but face facts your parents and older people are still human and still love the contact that making love brings. Sex is not only for young beautiful bodies, it is also for older wrinkly ones too. But women of all ages need to be careful because that biological clock is just waiting, waiting to catch them unawares and not all of us can be or choose to be on the pill.

Pain - Putting it in Perspective

Oh how I ache, this humid weather doesn't help my poor old bones and ligaments - yesterday was really bad, today is not much better. And the top joint on my left index finger is the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak. I'm right handed so why have I got arthritis in my left hand - well next time you put pressure on your fork when cutting food you will see that you use that left index finger quite a lot and it is the top joint that takes the brunt of pressure you apply when using your fork. But today, for me, it is all too much, just one pain too many. I feel like curling up in a ball and crying.

But I won't, because there is a mother in Melbourne who is suffering much more pain than I hope I will ever have to suffer, she lost her little daughter through the unthinkable action of her daughter's father. The pain she must be feeling in her heart must be indescribable and unbearable, and compared to that these old aching bones of mine are nothing.

Little Darcey may your spirit fly free and may the four years that you spent here on Earth be a blessing to your Mum - may those memories and not the tragedy of your death be the ones held in your mother's heart. Many tears were shed by mother's all over Australia when they heard the news of your death and hopefully they will wash away some of your own mother's pain.

Could Someone Please Explain

I just don't understand how/why:

some parents think it is okay to abuse their children -

some partners think it is okay to abuse their spouses -

some religions think it is okay to mutilate their women -

some people think it is okay for others to starve and be oppressed as long as it is not in their backyard -

some governments think they can make war in other countries in the name of liberation when everyone knows it is all about the oil -

some people can hate others and use their religion as justification -

some people think child pornography is okay -

some people think children are sexy -

some people think it is okay to produce and distribute drugs -

some people think it is okay to get drunk and fight with others -

some people think they can do whatever they like because it is their right -

some countries think it is okay to hunt whales and take the fins from sharks and leave them to die -

why each religion has it zealots that seem to do everything possible to incite hate, which is everything that a true religion is not -

some people think it is okay to be bigoted and a racist just because they are white skinned -

When did we as humans become this horrible? Has it always been so? Is it just that now with the media we know more about it? My heart breaks to see and hear all the bad things that are happening in our world. I hope my two grand-daughters inherit a world where these sorts of things no longer happen, if only that was possible. I live in hope.

A Mean Australian Spirit

As a proud Australian I am saddened by the 'mean Australian spirit' being shown by a small percentage of other Australians (I hope it is a small percent).

As most of you who live in Perth would have noticed (and maybe it happens in other States too) over the last few years there has been a sudden outpouring of the Australian spirit - if you think adding little Aussie flags to your car prior to Australia Day and driving with them proudly waving around shows you have that spirit.

Although I question when did we become obsessed with our flag? Traditionally you would see it at Anzac ceremonies and maybe when there was some sort of international sporting event.

Maybe I over analyse the world but I worry that this new spirit has had bad beginnings, hopefully I am wrong, but did anyone see many of these little Aussie flags on cars prior to the Cronula riots? What was the switch that was thrown that day - wasn't it one of hate rather than pride?

Why am I concerned that the spirit being shown is not one of being a proud Australian but rather one of being a bigot or mean spirited Australian?

Well I saw those cars with large Aussie flags draped across them inciting riots against those that are non-white Australians in the Cronula riots and I cried.

I have also overheard people with those little Aussie flags on their cars speak ill of others from other lands.

But what has saddened me the most is that recently I have seen stickers on the back of cars waving their Aussie flags - stickers in the shape of Australia with the words Fuck Off We're Full.

So I have a message to those of you who drive around with your little flags - if you are doing it because you truly love this land and all the people who live in it - I think that is fantastic.

But to those of you who drive around with your little Aussie flags, your stickers of hate and your narrow view of the world who seem to think if you are not white, if you are not descended from the first fleet that you don't deserve to be welcomed to this land - I say very loudly -

this land is not your land - this is a land that was invaded, that was stolen from another people, people who we in our arrogance didn't allow to vote until the 1960s, people who through our intervention lost their connection to country - who through our moral high ground lost a generation or more of children - a once proud people who are fighting to win back what was rightfully theirs, a people who are still ridiculed just for the colour of their skin

So before you pontificate on who should be let into this land, before you wave your little Aussie flags and put your bigoted stickers on your cars - stop and think - this wasn't your land to start with, the only reason you can lay claim to this land was that the power of the guns of the invading white settlers were too powerful for the original owners.

And most of all remember that our first fleet was made up of the lowest of the low - the criminals of the British Isles - so take your little Aussie flags and your bigoted stickers and stick them where the sun don't shine, they don't deserve to see the light of day.

Oh and by the way I am descended from 2 convicts and proud of how they turned there lives around, but I am also saddened at how our Indigenous people have been dispossessed and treated so badly in the past. I am even more upset by the fact that so many white Australians today still think it is okay to make racist jokes and derogatory comments about our land's traditional owners.

May this land of Australia always be a haven for those less fortunate, lets us always welcome people of all colours, race and creed. And let us voice our disgust for those amongst us who are bigoted and of mean spirit - for if anyone doesn't deserve to live here - it is them.

Working less

Tomorrow I start my reduced working time - I am working one full 5 day week followed by a 3 day week. I have chosen to have Thurs and Fridays off every second week and this weekend I get a bonus extra Monday.

What I have realised though is I need a plan - a plan of how to spend my time on these days, I don't want to sleep them away and I don't want to fill them up with other people's plans for my time. Now that doesn't mean I might not plan to have a really lazy day and read or watch DVDs or spend time with my family - it just means it will be based on my terms not someone else's expectations.

Now this feels a little strange to me, putting it into words, but I have realised that I find it hard to say no. I never want to hurt people's feelings and I am aware that other people in my life sometimes need my help - and that is fine, but I need to learn to say "NO" if it is a day I have had something planned. Otherwise I may as well stay at work and get paid.

So, I am setting myself a goal, over the next couple of days I am going to write down something to do on at least 1 of the days I have off every fortnight that is just for me. Wish me luck.