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My blog expresses my views and thoughts and in no way intends to offend however that does not guarantee it wont.

I write in a stream of consciousness and sometimes the odd typo or bad grammar may appear - please excuse these.

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Unsettled

The morning is dawning, the humidity is rising, Max is annoying me, my back is hurting, my foot is a breath away from cramping, I am nauseous, I have the beginnings of a headache, I am cranky and snappy and sad.

I feel unsettled, on edge, my flight or fight reflex is strong today.

I am worried for friends in the path of Cyclone Yasi. I am fed up with crap at work. I am over always being the nice guy. But mostly I am sad. Sad because today was my little grandson's due date and he left us long ago. I know that he may not have been born today, after all how many babies manage to arrive on their due dates? I know none of mine did. I am sad because I know that my daughter and son-in-law will be struggling in their own ways today. I am sad because I know that their struggle will continue and there is little I can do to soften this for them. I am sad because I never got to meet my little grandson and I had so much love ready to give him.

And so, I shed a tear, just one at a time and I take a deep breath as I know today I will be unsettled for I am not sure how to feel or what to do to, it all seems so much out of my control and I always struggle with that ... I want to make it safe and right for those I love so much.


6 comments:

  1. A tough time for all concerned. We will be thinking of you.

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  2. Big hugs to you and your family. Life can be so unfair. xx

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  3. sending hugs to you. xxx


    Thought I'd better check out/follow everyone who is attending the AusBlogCon. Pop over to bigwords if you get a moment x

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  4. Did you hear from your friends, Karen? Are they ok? I know you were worried yesterday.

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