Or maybe it is more like when I changed school the year I turned 12, and knew no-one and had the worst year of my life.
There's the whole, 'will they really like me?' and the 'I'm so fat' and the 'I really just want to vomit because I hate crowds and I hate meeting new people and so why am I doing this to myself?'. And the 'God I wish I was part of the cool group over there' and 'hey someone is smiling at me, oh no it is the person behind me'. You know, all the negative self-talk that regularly happens in my head (and maybe other people's too).
Then I have the whole what will I wear thing ... well really I sort of know what I will wear, black pants - I wear black pants pretty much every day of my life, so why should that day be any different. Black comfortable shoes, because I pretty much wear them everyday of my life too. Boring - huh? I think I will wear my black and white striped top because I feel good when I wear that. And I have some pretty gorgeous new silver earrings which also make me feel good, so got to make sure I pack them. Then there is my bling ... rings, lots to choose from.
I will probably sit at the back, because then I can sneak out if it all gets too much - I really am an introvert, one who acts like she is extroverted because she has too at work, but at great cost.
So again, I ask myself, why am I going? Well I thought it would be great to meet some of the wonderful bloggers who I follow (unfortunately quite a few I had hoped would attend are not, so I will have to work out some other way to meet them, bit hard when I live on the other side of the country) - so I can't really answer that question.
If you see me there, I will be the one looking terrified, but hey, I bet there will be a lot of others feeling the same as well.
It's one thing to be words on a page and another thing entirely to be a presence in a room. Chin up, chest out, big smile. Everyone else there has been hiding behind a blog site all this time and they will all be feeling a tad exposed. Go in there with the attitude that you are there to make everyone else feel comfortable. By the time you have accomplished your goal you will discover that YOU are comfortable. Have fun and keep us posted (no pun intended).
ReplyDeleteI wish you had come on Saturday! Next time you are heading East I'll organise a special meet up for you up here!
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so jealous! I can't wait to hear all about it and hopefully I'll be there next year too!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure there will be a lot of terrified Feeling (and looking) people there.
ReplyDeleteHave fun. I'm sure it will be great to meet so many bloggers.
Well done you for being so brave!
ReplyDeleteI bet you'll have a fabulous time.
I didn't get past the fear factor...but I would have loved meeting you if I was going. :)
Thanks everyone for your support, I fly out this afternoon and will be back on Sunday. See you on the flip side. xxx
ReplyDeleteI hadn't realised how much like me you really are (not just in our outward appearance). You have been fortunate in being able to 'put on' the extrovert thingie at work 'cos I was never able to achieve that either. I've aways had problems walking into a room full of people even if I know them. Thanks for 'phoning to let us know you are home safely and it sounds as tho' you had a fabulous time as did Christie too. You are an easy person to talk to so I know you would have done really well. Love you. xxx
ReplyDeleteYou didn't look any more terrified than I felt. Was lovely to meet you.
ReplyDelete