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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Do I Put Myself Out There

For those long term followers you may remember that I mentioned that my brother had broken contact with the family on my Mum's 70th Birthday. She turns 78 on 2nd Jan 2010.

Over the past couple of years, I have lost people that meant a lot to me. I see my Mum, stepfather and father aging. I worry how my brother will cope when they die - we know it will happen to all of us, just not when.

So my question is - should I put myself out there - risk his rejection again - to try and build a bridge that brings him back. I do not expect him to be in our lives all day, every day, but maybe he could at least be in contact occasionally and maybe talk to his parents a few times over the years.

I don't know if my heart and soul can cope with his rejection again, for while we were never close, he is my brother and so I love him - I don't have to think I about it, I just do. I dream about him and wake crying. My heart aches with the fact that if my parents die before he mends the rift that he will have to suffer with that.

I worry about him which is why I am thinking about picking up the phone, or just turning up at his house one day. I just don't know if I am strong enough if he says no. But will I at least feel I tried rather than never knowing.

I don't know that there is a simple answer to this question. Should I try or should I just let him go? Is it worth hurting myself to try and help him and my parents? Maybe he really doesn't care and when they die it won't effect him - but what if it does and I did nothing?


  1. Can you start with a simple email? Touching base, letting him know how everybody is doing?

    Sometimes it's a medium that is less confronting than a phone call or a face to face message.

    I know how you feel though. I have been estranged from my siblings for some time now.

  2. Had thought of that Melissa - but I no longer know his email address or really how to get it. I have a way to contact his daughter, but I don't want to put her in the middle, just in case it backfires. My hubby thinks I should let it go, as it is causing me anguish just thinking about making contact - but I just don't know. xxx



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