Over the past couple of years, I have lost people that meant a lot to me. I see my Mum, stepfather and father aging. I worry how my brother will cope when they die - we know it will happen to all of us, just not when.
So my question is - should I put myself out there - risk his rejection again - to try and build a bridge that brings him back. I do not expect him to be in our lives all day, every day, but maybe he could at least be in contact occasionally and maybe talk to his parents a few times over the years.
I don't know if my heart and soul can cope with his rejection again, for while we were never close, he is my brother and so I love him - I don't have to think I about it, I just do. I dream about him and wake crying. My heart aches with the fact that if my parents die before he mends the rift that he will have to suffer with that.
I worry about him which is why I am thinking about picking up the phone, or just turning up at his house one day. I just don't know if I am strong enough if he says no. But will I at least feel I tried rather than never knowing.
I don't know that there is a simple answer to this question. Should I try or should I just let him go? Is it worth hurting myself to try and help him and my parents? Maybe he really doesn't care and when they die it won't effect him - but what if it does and I did nothing?