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My blog expresses my views and thoughts and in no way intends to offend however that does not guarantee it wont.

I write in a stream of consciousness and sometimes the odd typo or bad grammar may appear - please excuse these.

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Friday, July 13, 2012

This Body

This body of mine is truly doing my head in.

Once, long ago, I was thin, then I had 4 children and my body decided it like being bigger, and with each baby it got bigger and bigger.  So when I finished having my children I was no longer thin, not by a long shot.  I say my body decided this because I can truly say I did not eat for two, I was reasonably active and certainly having 4 children kept me running around.

My body has not varied it's weight much in the 30 years since I was pregnant with my last child.  It goes up and down by about 2-3kgs but pretty much has stuck at the same weight all that time.

I said to myself, I will be fit by 40 - didn't happen, couldn't get myself motivated and with working and raising a family I never seemed to have the time.

I said to myself, I will lose some weight by my 50th birthday - didn't happen, by then my arthritis was out of control, my motivation was zero and I was just plain tired all of the decade between 40-50.

So now I am nearly 57 and in the last year I have lost 12kgs, not through any effort but through the side-effects of one of my medications.  I am now off that medication and I have put on 1.2kgs, because my body likes being the weight it is.

I on the other hand don't.  I am tired of being obese, I am tired of hiding myself from my hubby (my issue not his), I am tired of being tired, I am trying to get fit so I can be healthier.  So I joined a gym.

My body on the other hand has other ideas.  One session and my arthritis is the worse it has been in 10 years.  I am in so much pain that it is ridiculous.  Seriously, I am over my body dictating my life ... so tomorrow I will go back to the gym, seriously body, we need to lose weight so be a little kinder to me - please!!!

See here's proof that I used to be thin!!

As a p.s. to this post, my personal trainer has just cancelled todays' session and can't fit me in until next Saturday, so is the Universe now plotting against me as well - sigh!!!




11 comments:

  1. Such a beautiful smile - and I would put long odds on it remaining beautiful. Bodies are treacherous beasts aren't they?

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    1. Thanks my love, your ongoing support is always uplifting to me, especially when you have so many issues yourself. Hugs from Perth xxx

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  2. Yes she still does have a truly beautiful smile which often belies the pain she is in. We spoke the other day and both agreed that being large, strong-looking women nobody ever seems to believe we suffer the pain we both do from arthritis etc. Go back to the gym tomorrow and speak firmly to the trainer about what you know you can and can't do and do just what you feel comfortable with. The adage "no pain, no gain' maybe OK for young, fit and healthy individuals but my physio says "once it begins to hurt, then stop in case you do further damage'. I think that is very sound advice from one who has had her share of joint problems.
    Good luck tomorrow. You know what you are capable off so do your best. xxx

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  3. P.S. Would you ask The Elephants Child if I could view her blog. She sounds such a wonderful person. Thanks.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Try this URL http://myjustsostory.blogspot.com.au/

      and then choose to follow.

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  4. Me too.

    And even as my health suffers I do not seem to be able to get the strength and motivation to change.

    xx

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    Replies
    1. Its a hard road that's for sure. I have faith in you MM, you will get your mojo back big time. xxx

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  5. Gorgeous you! Love that last shot. I struggle with the same thing, though my weight tends to go up and down by 15 pounds. I still plan to get it right, though. I'm sorry you're suffering with arthritis. xx

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    1. That last shot is one of my favs of me growing up, I think I am about 15 or 16 and I love that it is in black and white. Thanks for your support K I realy appreciate it. xxx

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