Loneliness

Isn't it strange that you can be lonely when surrounded by people. Sometimes my soul is lonely, I don't know why and maybe it is not so much that it is lonely but that it is sad. Sad that my hubby has to go away again tomorrow and won't be back until Thursday night. He has been working away every week in Adelaide for over six months, and the only time he has been here for more than a weekend was when his Mum died and over Christmas and when we had 2 weeks holiday together in November.

I miss the little things when he is away ... the way he gives me kisses for no reason, the way he comes and strokes my hair as he walks past when I am watching TV, the cups of tea he makes for me, the way he rubs my back when it hurts (even though he doesn't know how to massage the warmth of the rubbing helps) ... it's the little things I miss.

And so here I am today surrounded by people I love including my adorable nearly 1 year old grand-daughter and yet my soul feels lonely and a little sad because tomorrow he will be gone again. I hope he knows just how much I love and miss him. I try not to tell him how much I miss him because I know that will make him sad too and because he has suffered from depression in the past I don't want to make him sad. It is just that I love him soo much and I don't feel whole when he is not around.