I was originally going to do this as a Memories on Mondays post, but then thought that maybe it was better just as a normal post that talks about what we remember and why.
I've blogged before about my love/hate relationship with my Dad. I always felt growing up that I was never good enough for him, that his life always took precedent over his love for me. I'm not sure that this is not true, but in the process of scanning photos I found these.
Now in all these photos I am no more than 3 which is
pretty obvious in the first couple.
pretty obvious in the first couple.
So did I get it wrong, did he actually love me more when I was a child than I give him credit for? Am I being too hard on him? Is it that we are just such different people that as an adult I would not choose him for a friend?
Could it be that my memories have been warped by the upheaval of our lives, that I am tainting my own memories of when I was very young by the bitterness that I thought I had left behind?
The fact remains I really do not like who my father is now, he is a polar opposite of me, but maybe just maybe when I was young, before I learned to talk back and question his motives and authority, he was more loving and caring that I give him credit for.
Memories - strange things sometimes.
Beautiful photos.
ReplyDeleteReally interesting. I love the old photos. Have you shown them to him and asked him about any of them?
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, what beautiful photos. He looks so very young. I think sometimes Fathers pull away when they're scared of not living up to their own high expectations, and they feel they can't be the best they know their most treasured deserve.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea of his motivation for turning out as he did, maybe he's just as confused about it.
Remember too, parents often fight most with the child that is most like themselves.