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My blog expresses my views and thoughts and in no way intends to offend however that does not guarantee it wont.

I write in a stream of consciousness and sometimes the odd typo or bad grammar may appear - please excuse these.

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Saturday, October 2, 2010

A Painful Truth

Anyone who has read this blog for a while would know I suffer from pain caused by osteoarthritis and DISH, this past couple of months has seen me in more pain than usual, especially my left knee and both my hands.

While in Sydney, I was really handicapped when it came to walking around, but I did what I could and really enjoyed being over there. However, each night I was close to tears and the day I walked from the Chinese Gardens to the Aquarium, I was actually in tears while walking. It is hard to face up to the fact that walking makes you cry ... especially in public, so I was thankful that when I got to the Aquarium I was able to take a moment in the darkness of the platypus exhibit to shed a tear while sitting on bench.

This moment lead to an Epiphany ... and it was not a good one. I have always wanted to travel to Canada and New Zealand ... hubby and I were thinking in a couple of years. Now I am not so sure that I will ever be able to get there. This caused me to have a little meltdown when I talked to my hubby one afternoon ... I mean, these 2 trips have been my dream destinations for many, many years. But it seems now that I can not justify spending all that money to travel and then not being able to get around to visit the places I want to see.

At 55, I am way to young for knee or hip replacements, but constantly walking around in pain, waiting for my knee to collapse is not fun. It is hard to lose a dream, and hopefully, somehow, this dream will still become a reality ... but at the moment, it is hard to see that happening.

The other thing that saddens me, is that my problems will likely be inherited by my children. Two of them have travelled, two of them have not, I hope that if there dreams are to travel they do so before it is too late.


  1. Well I can certainly sympathize. I also have osteo arthritis in my hip, knee and lower back. I'm with you sister. Many things I would like to do, I know I can't handle. However, the other day I witnessed a man with no legs working on a construction site and driving a backhoe. If he can do that with no legs then I can still manage on my creaky two legs. The glass is half full. Never give up your dreams.

  2. Mobility is something we take for granted until we don't have it. I'm so sorry for your pain, and for the loss of your dream (though, hmmm...wheelchair?). Sending warm hugs. xx

  3. You well know I have similar problems and have had for many years now. I often think of perhaps one more holiday (it is 9 years since we even had one night away) but I too feel it would be a waste of money if I can't do much once I leave the car. I would even love to go for a walk!! I was fortunate that at in my early 50s I was able to enjoy two wonderful holidays in New Zealand and hopefully with medical help you may still live your dream in future years. You are still quite young so don't give up hope. Keep that glass of yours half full as you usually do and fingers crossed, you'll make it.



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