The Smell of Roses

The other night I walked into my darkened study after a long day at work to turn my computer on - my senses are overwhelmed by the smell of roses. There on my desk is a vase of beautiful roses from our garden. One guess who put them there for me to enjoy. I love this man more and more each day and after nearly 33 years together I didn't think that was possible. And while the roses are now open, every day when I come home my study smells of roses ... one of my favourite smells of all time.

Our Moments In Time - Part 1

Remember when we met, you with your long blond hair, stunning blue eyes and kissable lips, in those tight white shorts with the cutest arse and those lucky legs (lucky they didn't break and stick up your arse - your words not mine).

Remember how our friendship grew, chatting while others played on the badminton court while we waited for our turn.

Remember how our friendship turned into something more, the flirting started, you with your fantasies about what was under my dress!! Me thinking about those kissable lips.

Remember our first date, me shopping with Mum for the perfect dress - red with a plunging V neck - wondering if it would be first and last date, after all I was a separated mother with stretch marks and responsibilities, you were single and fancy free.

Remember how you got an abscess on one of your teeth and nearly didn't come on our first date because you were embarrassed that your face was swollen - so glad you did, because if you hadn't I would have been hurt and probably wouldn't have said yes again.

Remember our awkwardness with each other as this was a date and not just 2 mates hanging out together, and we were at a ball with all the other badminton people and they all knew it was our first date and we felt watched.

Remember - well I do - the anticipation of that first kiss, would those lips be as soft as I thought they would be - and they were. That first kiss sealed it for me, my world stopped and I knew you were the one.

Remember some time later, our first night together (in the biblical sense) - it felt so right, so right that our child was conceived right there and then.

Remember when you thought it was all too much too soon and left me, remember how I was calm and okay with your decision - did you ever wonder why? It was because I knew you were mine and you would return, it only took 2 nights and you were back begging my forgiveness. But was there nothing to forgive - true love with your soul mate is overwhelming and frightening, it was all so soon and so new - all those feelings tumbling around in your heart and soul.


Do you ever stop to remember like I do, and does it warm your heart all over again that here we are still together 33 years later.

My Life Back In Balance

Well, finally my life feels back in balance. Hubby has been home this whole week, and how easily we have fitted back into the ebb and flow of our life, it has been wonderful to have him here.

He still wanders into my study when I am on the computer and ruffles my hair or gives me a quick kiss before continuing his journey to the kitchen to make a cuppa.

He is here to kiss me hello every day when I return from work, how I have missed that - I hated coming home to an empty house every work day while he was away.

This morning he made Caitlyn and I pancakes, and managed to burn his hand in the process - nothing has changed - he is still as accident prone as ever.

I am truly blessed to have this man in my life, he is not perfect, but he is close most of the time. The best bit is, I am not perfect either - and he loves me none the less.

Life is sweet. Oh and he bought me a new computer yesterday - how spoilt am I - very I know.

A Dark Moment In A Day Of Sunshine

Yesterday was just another day, sunny outside and rolling along as a Sunday does - except my hubby was leaving that night for yet another trip to Adelaide. He was working in his study when he started yelling at the computer and whacking the keyboard because he was frustrated with how slow it was all going and he had deadlines. Rather than run down and make sure he was okay, I sent a little prayer his way hoping he would relax. And then a moment later it went quiet and I relaxed too. A while later though it was almost too quiet and I had a vision pop into my head of a small boy finding his grandfather hanging in a shed and suddenly that vision wasn't a grandfather at all and it wasn't a little boy who found a body it was me. So I rush to the study and there he is just working away quietly and he can see I am upset but I can't tell him why and so I give him a cuddle and leave him be. This man means the world to me and I can't lose him.

And so I dedicate this to him, wish I could say that I wrote it but that would be a lie - it is the lyrics from Love Story (the movie). And the little boy that found his grandfather was not just a random thought it was my hubby when he was 4.

Where do I begin
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love he brings to me
Where do I start

With his first hello
He gave new meaning to this empty world of mine
There'd never be another love, another time
He came into my life and made the living fine
He fills my heart

He fills my heart with very special things
With angels' song, with wild imaginings
He fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go I'm never lonely
With him around, who could be lonely
I reach for his hand - its always there

How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much I can say
I know I'll need him till the stars all burn away
And he'll be there

And for those of you who also love this man, please know he is doing a lot better, it just seems that I am fragile at the thought of him being away from me for a whole week this time, but I'm doing okay too. Just had to put this out there so it is no longer rolling around in my head and heart.