Reading

One of my most favourite things is to read, I don't get as much time as I used to and sometimes now I am just too tired to concentrate on a good book, but when I am in the mood or when I have a particularly wonderful book, I can lose myself for hours in the story. Many a time my hubby (and kids when they were younger and living at home) have spoken to me and I just don't hear them - that is how completely I am absorbed by what is unfolding. I remember when the kids were little and I had no time to read during the day I would often sit up until 1 or 2 in the morning just to get a book finished.

I have always loved reading, as does my mother and all 4 of my children and it seems both of my grandchildren. My eldest daughter recently blogged about Immy's love of reading and books. I love the fact that the time I took when my children were little to stop and read to them instilled a love of reading in them too. From the time they were little I read to them pretty much each day and each night at bed time. It got harder when I had 4, but each little one got a story and the older ones were allowed 15 mins of reading time each night before lights out.

Each of my children couldn't wait to get to school and start to read, the first thing they wanted to do when they got home was their reading homework, and they had such a sense of achievement as they moved through all the different levels of reading books. While it takes time in your busy day, it is such a worthwhile investment.

I have fond memories of all 3 of my girls tucked in my Mum's double bed when my son was just a baby and Poppy perched on the side of the bed reading them Wind in the Willows. They would get a chapter each time we went to have dinner.

Most recently I have started to read some of the classic books I loved as a child/teenager again - and I am currently reading a 1915 copy of Dear Enemy by Jean Webster. Got the book on eBay from America - it is in near perfect condition for a book that is nearly 100 years old. It is still as funny and enchanting as it was all those years ago.

The Written Word

Oh how the written word can be used as a sword to cut someone down to size just as it can be used to raise someone up and give them encouragement. What we need to be careful of is how we use the written word and how we ourselves read the written word.

All of us learn in different manners, all of us read the same words and understand in different ways - one can write a message to try and help someone avoid making the same mistake over and over again, and yet the recipient of the message sees only that someone is passing judgement. Doesn't matter how well you write, when you take the body language or the voice expression out the equation - then the preset mind takes over. Then the swordplay can really begin and all over what was written and what was read. Both people may have the best intentions but nevertheless harm is done. This is especially so if the 'reader' has a pre-perception about the person sending the email, or writing the blog, or what is said on Facebook.

So do we give up using the written word, I don't think so, but maybe we should occasionally go back to picking up the phone and talking - at least that way we have voice expression as part of the equation.

Here is an example - My mother said to me the other day when I bought her flowers - "oh these are fresh the last lot your bought were on their way out" - or something similar. My comment to her was 'isn't it lucky I don't have thin skin or I could have taken that as a insult' - but being face to face with her I could read her body language and she could then read mine. But what if she had just sent that to me in an email. I would have been righteously offended. What she was trying to say was that the shop keeper shouldn't be selling flowers that only have a day or so's life left in them as there is no way that I as the buyer of the flowers would know how long they had sat in the shop. Obviously if they were dead or totally wilted I could have seen that, but flowers quite often look good one day and then not the next.

Another example is a letter I received from my much-loved grandmother not long after my 21st birthday. This letter was sent supposedly with love - well it was signed that way, but it was in fact heart-breaking for me and meant we did not speak for a long time. I read it as her judging me, while how she had written it (her perspective) was that she was trying to encourage me to be a better person.

Hence my qualifier in my welcome message - no offence is ever meant, but that does not mean that none will be taken - that unfortunately is the humanness in all of us.