I find it interesting the we as a people are taught to put on faces, so to speak, to present ourselves to the world. It is something that some of us learn at an early age while others take a little longer and maybe a small percentage never learn at all.
Most of us put on the happy face to go out and meet the world, while inside we may be feeling sad, or angry, or bewildered or the like. But it is the happy face we pop on as in society other people really don't want to know how you feel. Your close friends and family might, but sometimes they don't want to know either. And so the happy face means that they are not confronted by what we really feel so they can walk on. Trouble is they have their happy faces on too.
I often get comments from my massage therapist that with my problems she doesn't know how I smile so much, well I suppose part of it is the happy face I put on in the morning as I leave the house to meet the day after all I really don't want to burden all and sundry with my problems but another part is my glass half full frame of mind. If I can smile then just maybe I can convince myself today will be a good day, quite often works as well.
I wonder to if we have faces that we put on for certain people in our lives. Is there a certain person that makes you feel like you should be the good child - always perfect. Does that mean that when you get older you are still fulfilling that myth. After all, none of us are perfect all the time, just like none of us are happy all the time either.
Should we as a society be more accepting of how people really feel. Or does that make us too uncomfortable, is it not easier to put the blinkers on as we walk past and assume that the person behind the happy face really is happy.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Autumn
I just love these crisp Autumn mornings here in Perth, I actually get to put my coral fleece dressing gown on and not feel too hot. I can bask in the sunshine and not feel like I am getting burnt. The dreaded easterly winds are now down to a gentle breeze.
Change is coming, you can feel it in the air. Winter is not far away with its rain and gales, but on an autumn day like this my soul and spirit are refreshed.
How I wish it could be autumn all year long.
Change is coming, you can feel it in the air. Winter is not far away with its rain and gales, but on an autumn day like this my soul and spirit are refreshed.
How I wish it could be autumn all year long.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
The Written Word
Oh how the written word can be used as a sword to cut someone down to size just as it can be used to raise someone up and give them encouragement. What we need to be careful of is how we use the written word and how we ourselves read the written word.
All of us learn in different manners, all of us read the same words and understand in different ways - one can write a message to try and help someone avoid making the same mistake over and over again, and yet the recipient of the message sees only that someone is passing judgement. Doesn't matter how well you write, when you take the body language or the voice expression out the equation - then the preset mind takes over. Then the swordplay can really begin and all over what was written and what was read. Both people may have the best intentions but nevertheless harm is done. This is especially so if the 'reader' has a pre-perception about the person sending the email, or writing the blog, or what is said on Facebook.
So do we give up using the written word, I don't think so, but maybe we should occasionally go back to picking up the phone and talking - at least that way we have voice expression as part of the equation.
Here is an example - My mother said to me the other day when I bought her flowers - "oh these are fresh the last lot your bought were on their way out" - or something similar. My comment to her was 'isn't it lucky I don't have thin skin or I could have taken that as a insult' - but being face to face with her I could read her body language and she could then read mine. But what if she had just sent that to me in an email. I would have been righteously offended. What she was trying to say was that the shop keeper shouldn't be selling flowers that only have a day or so's life left in them as there is no way that I as the buyer of the flowers would know how long they had sat in the shop. Obviously if they were dead or totally wilted I could have seen that, but flowers quite often look good one day and then not the next.
Another example is a letter I received from my much-loved grandmother not long after my 21st birthday. This letter was sent supposedly with love - well it was signed that way, but it was in fact heart-breaking for me and meant we did not speak for a long time. I read it as her judging me, while how she had written it (her perspective) was that she was trying to encourage me to be a better person.
Hence my qualifier in my welcome message - no offence is ever meant, but that does not mean that none will be taken - that unfortunately is the humanness in all of us.
All of us learn in different manners, all of us read the same words and understand in different ways - one can write a message to try and help someone avoid making the same mistake over and over again, and yet the recipient of the message sees only that someone is passing judgement. Doesn't matter how well you write, when you take the body language or the voice expression out the equation - then the preset mind takes over. Then the swordplay can really begin and all over what was written and what was read. Both people may have the best intentions but nevertheless harm is done. This is especially so if the 'reader' has a pre-perception about the person sending the email, or writing the blog, or what is said on Facebook.
So do we give up using the written word, I don't think so, but maybe we should occasionally go back to picking up the phone and talking - at least that way we have voice expression as part of the equation.
Here is an example - My mother said to me the other day when I bought her flowers - "oh these are fresh the last lot your bought were on their way out" - or something similar. My comment to her was 'isn't it lucky I don't have thin skin or I could have taken that as a insult' - but being face to face with her I could read her body language and she could then read mine. But what if she had just sent that to me in an email. I would have been righteously offended. What she was trying to say was that the shop keeper shouldn't be selling flowers that only have a day or so's life left in them as there is no way that I as the buyer of the flowers would know how long they had sat in the shop. Obviously if they were dead or totally wilted I could have seen that, but flowers quite often look good one day and then not the next.
Another example is a letter I received from my much-loved grandmother not long after my 21st birthday. This letter was sent supposedly with love - well it was signed that way, but it was in fact heart-breaking for me and meant we did not speak for a long time. I read it as her judging me, while how she had written it (her perspective) was that she was trying to encourage me to be a better person.
Hence my qualifier in my welcome message - no offence is ever meant, but that does not mean that none will be taken - that unfortunately is the humanness in all of us.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Feeling Good
Well things are finally falling into place and for the first time ever I was able to lay on my back for a whole hour of kinesiology with no pain - that's right none. That was on top of yesterday spending at least an hour and a half on my feet shopping with my daughter at Ikea - no pain in my lower back or leg at all (pity about my feet but that is another issue which hopefully Simon solved today).
Then I went to have my massage straight after my appointment with Simon and Louise is over the moon about how nice and supple my lower back was and the huge knots that where there (she called them slabs of concrete the size of dinner plates on my very first visit) have broken down to tiny little spots which when she massages very easily smooth out. My right shoulder blade also had a huge knot behind it and over the last 3 weeks she has also worked on that and today again just a small little stubborn knot.
Simon also said I was glowing today, the best he has ever seen me - my eyes were bright, my skin looked good and he said that if he could read my aura we was sure that would be glowing too.
Now I wonder if it is because I also went to the hair-dressers this morning and she blow dried my hair straight rather than my curls - maybe that made me glow!
But no, I actually do feel a lot better, in fact I feel great.
I think it is a combination of the kinesiology with the massage plus the fact I have cut down my work hours somewhat then combined with the fact my hubby is home in Perth next week (which has me smiling), then I have the first Easter in a long time with all my family in one place. With all the planets in my life coming into alignment why wouldn't I be feeling good.
Then I went to have my massage straight after my appointment with Simon and Louise is over the moon about how nice and supple my lower back was and the huge knots that where there (she called them slabs of concrete the size of dinner plates on my very first visit) have broken down to tiny little spots which when she massages very easily smooth out. My right shoulder blade also had a huge knot behind it and over the last 3 weeks she has also worked on that and today again just a small little stubborn knot.
Simon also said I was glowing today, the best he has ever seen me - my eyes were bright, my skin looked good and he said that if he could read my aura we was sure that would be glowing too.
Now I wonder if it is because I also went to the hair-dressers this morning and she blow dried my hair straight rather than my curls - maybe that made me glow!
But no, I actually do feel a lot better, in fact I feel great.
I think it is a combination of the kinesiology with the massage plus the fact I have cut down my work hours somewhat then combined with the fact my hubby is home in Perth next week (which has me smiling), then I have the first Easter in a long time with all my family in one place. With all the planets in my life coming into alignment why wouldn't I be feeling good.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Putting It Out There
Well having a public blog is putting it out there in the universe and it is something I have chosen to do. I have commented earlier that I don't always write as much as I want about certain things so as not to make my family and friends uncomfortable if I broach a subject that is sensitive to them. I have however always tried to be honest about how I feel.
I sort of have forgotten that anyone can read my blog and comment, I chose to set it up that way rather than moderate the comments by approving them first. Comments I have received so far have been supportive of what I am saying and in some cases I have received support from total strangers which while at first was a little confronting has been very encouraging and gratifying. It is nice to know someone out there reads what you write and makes a connection.
I was therefore surprised to come home last night and find an Anonymous comment that clearly included an insult. Now what I find frustrating is that whoever wrote this comment did not get what I was writing about at all and showed their ignorance by their closing remark (insult). The rest of their comment I considered righteous after all it could be seen that I was publicly crying about something that was said - I didn't write it with that intent but it could be read that way. And maybe I should toughen up and learn to laugh at myself but this particular person's comment won't inspire me to do that as they chose to hide behind being Anonymous.
Just in case other people also don't understand what I was writing about I will explain a little more here.
The Another Boycott post was my attempt to try and explain how I feel hurt by other people's ridicule when they tell fat jokes. It was also because if people who have a public following - like Botica's Bunch continue to enforce the myth that all fat people are fat because they eat too much then the general public think it is gospel too.
I believe strongly that people in the media need to be very careful of what they say and what they do as unfortunately they have more influence on the common people than they should have. I am often horrified when I hear people say things like but I saw it on "insert TV show name" or I read it in "insert paper/magazine name" or I heard it on "insert radio station name" so it must be true. When did we become a race of people that was so gullible. Sure if you hear, read or see something that peaks your curiosity go and research it and find out more but don't just take it as gospel because the media told you so - how many times do opinions and facts seem to change and how many times does the media get it wrong and bury their retractions somewhere deep in their papers or news broadcasts?
Maybe I don't have a sense of humour like the rest of the world but I also don't like jokes that target a persons race, hair colour, sexuality and so on. There are ways to tell jokes without putting other people down.
Anonymous raised the point that that the teller of the jokes that offend me is often the butt of jokes himself. What I think the Anonymous comment maker missed is that Botica's Bunch are a group of work-mates and quite possibly friends that do that friendly type of ribbing and it is part of the appeal of the show. So it is unlikely that Captain Paul would publicly cry about it because 1. he is paid to do it and 2. the camaraderie on the show means that he probably really does find what they say to him funny. After all he quite often brings up stuff so they can laugh at him - again he is paid to do that and most probably encouraged to do so as it is all about the ratings. My work-mates and I also have that same kind of sense of fun and quite often rib each other about silly things we have done in the past but it is between us and does not target anyone else.
And yes maybe I did make it a personal type of post instead of a general comment but hey that was how I felt when it was said so for me it was personal. Did I think I was being targeted deliberately by a radio announcer - of course not but it doesn't mean that my sensibilities can not be offended either on my behalf or other people I know. My post was also about my choice to turn off a radio station if I was disappointed with their content which is what I have chosen to do. So if I want to 'publicly cry' about something then that is what I will do - after all isn't that the whole point of blogging being able to be honest about how things make you feel????
I sort of have forgotten that anyone can read my blog and comment, I chose to set it up that way rather than moderate the comments by approving them first. Comments I have received so far have been supportive of what I am saying and in some cases I have received support from total strangers which while at first was a little confronting has been very encouraging and gratifying. It is nice to know someone out there reads what you write and makes a connection.
I was therefore surprised to come home last night and find an Anonymous comment that clearly included an insult. Now what I find frustrating is that whoever wrote this comment did not get what I was writing about at all and showed their ignorance by their closing remark (insult). The rest of their comment I considered righteous after all it could be seen that I was publicly crying about something that was said - I didn't write it with that intent but it could be read that way. And maybe I should toughen up and learn to laugh at myself but this particular person's comment won't inspire me to do that as they chose to hide behind being Anonymous.
Just in case other people also don't understand what I was writing about I will explain a little more here.
The Another Boycott post was my attempt to try and explain how I feel hurt by other people's ridicule when they tell fat jokes. It was also because if people who have a public following - like Botica's Bunch continue to enforce the myth that all fat people are fat because they eat too much then the general public think it is gospel too.
I believe strongly that people in the media need to be very careful of what they say and what they do as unfortunately they have more influence on the common people than they should have. I am often horrified when I hear people say things like but I saw it on "insert TV show name" or I read it in "insert paper/magazine name" or I heard it on "insert radio station name" so it must be true. When did we become a race of people that was so gullible. Sure if you hear, read or see something that peaks your curiosity go and research it and find out more but don't just take it as gospel because the media told you so - how many times do opinions and facts seem to change and how many times does the media get it wrong and bury their retractions somewhere deep in their papers or news broadcasts?
Maybe I don't have a sense of humour like the rest of the world but I also don't like jokes that target a persons race, hair colour, sexuality and so on. There are ways to tell jokes without putting other people down.
Anonymous raised the point that that the teller of the jokes that offend me is often the butt of jokes himself. What I think the Anonymous comment maker missed is that Botica's Bunch are a group of work-mates and quite possibly friends that do that friendly type of ribbing and it is part of the appeal of the show. So it is unlikely that Captain Paul would publicly cry about it because 1. he is paid to do it and 2. the camaraderie on the show means that he probably really does find what they say to him funny. After all he quite often brings up stuff so they can laugh at him - again he is paid to do that and most probably encouraged to do so as it is all about the ratings. My work-mates and I also have that same kind of sense of fun and quite often rib each other about silly things we have done in the past but it is between us and does not target anyone else.
And yes maybe I did make it a personal type of post instead of a general comment but hey that was how I felt when it was said so for me it was personal. Did I think I was being targeted deliberately by a radio announcer - of course not but it doesn't mean that my sensibilities can not be offended either on my behalf or other people I know. My post was also about my choice to turn off a radio station if I was disappointed with their content which is what I have chosen to do. So if I want to 'publicly cry' about something then that is what I will do - after all isn't that the whole point of blogging being able to be honest about how things make you feel????
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