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Friday, May 1, 2009
The Black Dog
I think it was Winston Churchill that spoke of his 'black dog' that was always with him. I imagine that all of us have had one accompany us at some time in our lives, I also imagine that sometimes it is just a wee little dog and other times can be a large aggressive dog.
Luckily for me so far the dog I carry has been mostly small and well behaved and if and when he starts to get a little out of control I have had the ability to reassert that I am the master - sometimes with a cry, sometimes with a slamming door, sometimes with removing myself from a situation.
However I have someone I love deeply who's black dog is much more aggressive, and it is hard to watch when that dog takes control and literally takes its master by the scruff of the neck and shakes its master around. I try to be as supportive as I can. I offer my love and my shoulder to lean on. I try and help to make sense of what seems to make no sense - this is a person who is one of the smartest I know and it is hard to watch them sometimes struggle with what seems like the easiest choices but when this dog has control no choice is easy. I wish I had a magic wand to make this black dog disappear, but I can do nothing but be there and watch and hope that just by being there I in some way help.
It seems that these large aggressive black dogs take the colour out of the day, take the warmth from the sun, take the joy from your soul. I hope the love I offer is a life raft and that the small moments of happiness - like a little girl running up behind you and wrapping their arms around your legs and cuddling in tight, or a a cat that snuggles in your lap and purrs loudly because he is trying to help or a wonderful lunch with friends is enough to keep you connected to the good things in your life. It is hard for me to know if this is enough as I have never really been in the same head space. But I keep hoping because to lose the love of my life is not someone I want to contemplate.
If you too are suffering in anyway, I pray that you have someone in your life that can help.