A Dark Moment In A Day Of Sunshine

Yesterday was just another day, sunny outside and rolling along as a Sunday does - except my hubby was leaving that night for yet another trip to Adelaide. He was working in his study when he started yelling at the computer and whacking the keyboard because he was frustrated with how slow it was all going and he had deadlines. Rather than run down and make sure he was okay, I sent a little prayer his way hoping he would relax. And then a moment later it went quiet and I relaxed too. A while later though it was almost too quiet and I had a vision pop into my head of a small boy finding his grandfather hanging in a shed and suddenly that vision wasn't a grandfather at all and it wasn't a little boy who found a body it was me. So I rush to the study and there he is just working away quietly and he can see I am upset but I can't tell him why and so I give him a cuddle and leave him be. This man means the world to me and I can't lose him.

And so I dedicate this to him, wish I could say that I wrote it but that would be a lie - it is the lyrics from Love Story (the movie). And the little boy that found his grandfather was not just a random thought it was my hubby when he was 4.

Where do I begin
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love he brings to me
Where do I start

With his first hello
He gave new meaning to this empty world of mine
There'd never be another love, another time
He came into my life and made the living fine
He fills my heart

He fills my heart with very special things
With angels' song, with wild imaginings
He fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go I'm never lonely
With him around, who could be lonely
I reach for his hand - its always there

How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much I can say
I know I'll need him till the stars all burn away
And he'll be there

And for those of you who also love this man, please know he is doing a lot better, it just seems that I am fragile at the thought of him being away from me for a whole week this time, but I'm doing okay too. Just had to put this out there so it is no longer rolling around in my head and heart.