Welcome to my blog.

My blog expresses my views and thoughts and in no way intends to offend however that does not guarantee it wont.

I write in a stream of consciousness and sometimes the odd typo or bad grammar may appear - please excuse these.

Please feel free to leave a comment if something inspires you to do so.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Can You Ever Be Too Old To Be A Mother?

I saw a news article today about a 66 year old woman who became pregnant on the IVF program in Europe.  My understanding is that she is a single childless woman.  

As much as I understand the desire to have a child, can you be too old?  For me this is one of those cases, to me this woman is too old.  I try not to be judgemental, but I find this a selfish act.  For me the act of becoming a mother is one of putting yourself into second place. Because to me your child and his or her life becomes the priority.  This includes being around to watch them grow into their adult lives, to be their to emotionally and physically support them, to be the best you possibly can as a role model in their lives.  

Motherhood should not be a selfish act, it should not come from your desire to fill a void - loneliness, longing, missed opportunity.  I don't care that she is single, there are a lot of wonderful single mothers in this world.  But she is 66 years of age, she is old enough to be a grandmother.  She has had to go against the law of nature to have this child, and some doctor somewhere only saw the money for surely they would not have agreed to this if they ethically thought about it.

If she had put her child first she would have realised that no matter how much she loves this child it is not only herself that will be judged by this decision. When her child is a school age they will suffer for having a mother this old they will be teased by their peers - shouldn't happen but it does.  No matter how fit she is now, the older you get the harder it is.  I am only 53 but I have no where near the energy I had in my 20s and 30s or even 40s.  I struggle to get down on the floor with my grandchildren and to run and jump and do the things I did with my children.  When you are older you are more likely to suffer health conditions and be struck down more severely with even the common cold.

Not to mention what happens if she dies - who looks are her child then?  She has no other children to help, maybe she has lots of money and has put some provision in place.  But again, how selfish to only consider herself.

Now I know that even some younger women become ill or die and that marriages fall apart and we sometimes find ourselves in a place we never thought we would be as a mother.  But none of us make a conscious decision to put our children in that position.  This woman has.

I don't know is it just me, or does this seem wrong to others as well.

1 comment:

  1. My thoughts about this event echo yours almost exactly. When I heard the news about this woman I thought how selfish she was being. Had she wished to be a mother why not 20, 30 or even 40 years earlier?? Was she perhaps trying to be a mother and grandmother all in one thus filling both roles she had previously missed out on? One can only suppose that motherhood earlier in her life would have 'got in the way' of other pursuits.
    My adopted dad was in his early 40s at the time of my adoption and even that was reasonably old which meant he was 66 when I was only 20. Don't get me wrong he was a great dad and perhaps, being older and having waited a long time for my arrival, he was a little soft on me??
    I think mm you have put it very well.



Related Posts with Thumbnails