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My blog expresses my views and thoughts and in no way intends to offend however that does not guarantee it wont.

I write in a stream of consciousness and sometimes the odd typo or bad grammar may appear - please excuse these.

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Sunday, May 10, 2009


Mothers hold their children's hands for a while, their hearts forever
- so says the saying on my fridge. How true this is for me and I know my mother as well. My daughter's are still in the hand holding stage of their mothering 'life journey' - but they too will find that no matter how old your children are, they are still your babies.

This can means that as mother we can fall into the trap of mothering our grown children, which if you are that child may feel that you are being judged, or dictated to, or that maybe your mother is interfering. I can assure you that from my 'mother' perspective that is not what you think you are doing - but from my 'child' perspective that is what it can feel like.

I believe that a mother's love for their child (in most instances - there are always a few who challenge this belief) is the strongest love there is. Mothers will die to save their children, mother's hearts are ripped out when their child is seriously ill, they may put on a brave face for the family - but their hearts are bleeding inside. Mothers have a connection with their children that fathers, even the best of them, just can't have - for we have cradled our babies not only within our hearts but within our bodies - we have whispered softly to them while holding our swollen bellies, we have felt our hearts fill with excitement and joy at that first flutter of a kick from within. We have berated ourselves for things we later feel we have done wrong - decisions made with best intentions that maybe backfire. We have felt our hearts torn when having to make the hard decisions about our children's lives, and even years later there are some of these decisions that still haunt me and bring me to tears with their memory.

Yes there are times when being a mother seems all too much, times when you want to tear your hair out, times when you do the 'if only' game with yourself - but then your child smiles at you, or gives you a hug, or say thanks Mum for all you have done - and then your heart fills with sunshine and it's warmth gives you the strength to face another day of motherhood.

It is not always an easy journey, but it is one I have loved and continue to love, even though my children are now all grown - to me when I look at them I can still see that small bundle (well in my case not so small) of newborn baby placed in my arms - I can still see their first smile within their smiles today, and I still have the memory of holding them close in my arms and smelling their unique baby smell, that sweet aroma of not only milk and baby powder but of the potential that is within them to shine forth in this world.

To my children I thank you for allowing me to be your mother through all the times in your lives, for inviting me to continue my role in your adult lives. To my Mum, I thank you for all you have done for me, for your continued support and love. To all the other Mothers I know (both personally and my cyberspace Mums), I hope that you have a wonderful Mother's Day today and that you too feel the blessing that I feel has been bestowed on me by being a Mum.

1 comment:

  1. I must concur with nearly everything you say about being mothered and being a mother but I don't think one has to actually bear the child to feel the way you explained. My adoptive mother was all those things to me right through her life...always wanted the best for me (sometimes beyond my own capability perhaps) but she was always there for me and my children as well when needed.
    I hope I have been there for my children and grandchildren as well without being too overbearing, but very often what appears to be overbearing is because of the caring and love we have for them. They must forgive us for sometimes appearing to get in the way ...perhaps a gentle nudge would be the way to go in those cases. Hopefully most mothers (and grandmothers) do get the message when it is needed and stand back a little and let the young ones grow into individuals.
    You have been an excellent mother and also an excellent daughter so what more can one ask of one's offspring? I am very proud of what you have achieved in your life and of the way you have managed to do so much. Thank you.



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