Blog This Challenge 35 - How Things Change

Blog This Challenge 35: You've Come A Long Way Baby - Take us on a journey. Your journey. Something you've achieved, somewhere you've travelled, someone you've become. How has it challenged or changed you?

So here is my story - and if you would like to vote for me, then voting starts on Thurs 11th to Tues 16th March.

I'm 55, I'm overweight (well if I am truthful I am obese) and I decided 2010 was the year this was going to change. And so I started going to the pool. This was a huge obstacle for me to overcome. I know what I look like naked, I hate it so much I avoid mirrors like the plague. Yet I found the courage, with the help of one of my 'sisters', to get into the pool and to exercise.

We made a commitment to each other to do 3 days a week - Mon, Weds, Fri and for the first 2 weeks we did just that. I now go 7 days a week if I can - I do 45-90 mins per day of walking, running and swimming and I feel good about myself for the first time in years.

After week 2 I even bought bathers, which in itself was another challenge especially as when I walked into the swimsuit store the woman was no more than 25 and no bigger than a size 8 - I kid you not. But somewhere I found the courage to try on bathers, talk to her about my concerns and come away with a 3 piece set.

It took me another week to actually wear the bathers to the pool - I mean I look like a large lumpy black sausage - but now it means nothing to me - I can walk into the pool and not care - because I am doing this for me, no-one else, just me.

I am still obese but I am taking back control and I will win this battle before it kills me - you just watch!

For anyone out there who needs encouragement to do the same thing, let me know, I will follow your blog and encourage you all the way. One unexpected thing I have found in cyberspace is a new lot of friends who have been there supporting me pretty much every single week. My heartfelt thanks are sent to the ladies who don't know me from Adam, but take the time in their busy lives to make me feel that someone cares.

To explain my journey a little further, I thought I would share with you a post I wrote in Jan 2009 on a day when I was feeling particularly down and angry at myself. Just over 12 months later, while I am still obese, I am feeling so empowered about the changes I am making in my life.

Lost and Found

I've lost this girl
Where can she be
Can I find her
Let me see

I've looked in the mirror
She isn't there
Someone strange
Looks back from there

She's in my head
She's in my heart
Now comes the hardest part

She's in my head
She's in my heart
But can't you see
She isn't really lost to me

She is me when I was young
When my life was full of fun
When I felt filled with grace
Before I found this older face

She is me before I aged
Before my weight
Before self hate

She is me before
When I could look
and like what I saw

She is me and she is here
Somewhere in my soul
She is part of me the whole

She is who I was
She never really left because
She's in my head
She's in my heart

She will always be a part
A part of all the girls I've been
Of the woman I've become

If you look close
You'll see that smile, that face
You'll see she still has that grace

You may have to look hard
But persevere
Cause she is really
standing here