Dealing with a new life full of little pricks

For a needle phobic, my new life of twice daily injections is hard. There is only so much self talk that one can do without going slightly insane. There are days when I truly wish I could walk away from my new life full of little pricks.

I prick my finger when I first get up, and then try not to stress too much about the reading. I then go and inject myself and have to wait until I can have my breakfast, for unlike insulin, Byetta needs to be injected about 1 hour from your meal, but no longer than an 1 before. So my daily morning routine of getting up, having breakfast, then showering and leaving for work has needed to be adjusted.

Then I have the issue of getting home in time to inject with enough time before the evening meal. I am certainly not used to having this much restriction on my life. Then I have to remember to prick my finger 2 hours after the meal - again trying not to stress about just how high that reading might be.

My drug needs to stay refrigerated, so the whole going out to breakfast or dinner, and taking the drug either with me or getting to and eating within the 1 hour limit, is just too much to deal with at the moment. So does this mean no life outside of home for me? I know it doesn't, but it sure feels like that, right about now.

I am trying to stay as positive as I can, and the truth is, I need to deal one day at a time, for when I think of another 20-30 years of this, I think I would rather just kill myself now. Not trying to be dramatic here, but it truly is doing my head in.

My Mum, bless her heart, goes through the same thing - although she has only just started with insulin injections and at present she only has to inject before bed, but she is 80 and wasn't diagnosed with D2 until in her mid 60s, so while she has dealt the it for around 15 years, my journey could be much, much longer. I know she means well when she tries to boost my spirits, but in truth it only makes my journey down this path harder. I have seen the strain that trying to do the right thing all the time diet wise has done to her, and she is lucky (probably not the right word) that my step father was also diagnosed with D2 about six month after her. So she has someone along on her journey that truly understands.

My hubby is trying really hard, God bless him, but he really doesn't get it at all.

So yes, this is a little bit of a pity party post, sorry I try not to do them too often. And yes, I know it could be worse, and their are others out there, including children, dealing with other much more life threatening and gut wrenching diseases ... but right now I sort of don't really care what any one else is dealing with, but I am sure tomorrow, I will be able to put it all back in perspective. So excuse me for the indulgence, but sometimes it is easier to write it than hold it in.

The only bright point, is that the new drug does seem to be bringing my readings down, sometimes even close to normal - silver lining in dark cloud - I hope so.