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Friday, January 2, 2009

That One Last Hoorah with a Twist

One of the good things about being peri-menopausal is that you get less periods (tune out here if you are feint-hearted).

So obviously you need less "feminine hygiene products" but you have to keep some on hand just in case. Because what the menopause loves to do is catch you unawares.

Case in point (from personal experience obviously) LMP was in Jan 2008 and a light one at that, then maybe some minor spotting throughout the year but nothing really to speak of. Then you get a surprise Christmas present - albeit a day or so before - and think okay this will be nothing much to speak of. And no sooner have the words (or thoughts) left your mouth (or brain) and you realise no this is going to be the one to make up for all those you missed during the year.

Now that in itself is just something women deal with, some from the age of 10 all the way through to probably 65 if you are unlucky.

But the twist in this tale is that somehow you end up with a blocked sewerage drain that cause your toilets to boil and bubble anytime you flush any water down any drain - scary. So obviously you think well the house is 31 years old and roots must have finally made their way into the drains and so you call the plumber. Felt quite lucky he could actually get here on the same day I rang (after 2 days of toilet bubbling - truly scary!!).

So around he pops and says "leave it to me love" - don't you just love tradies and their "loves", and you retire back into the air conditioning leaving him to put the rota roota down the drain. About 5 minutes later he comes in and says all fixed, great think I, then he says was just your tampons (blush, crawl under closest rock), yep pulled about 3 out. OMG! Here I am hoping that they really do look like little white mice (not my saying someone elses) and quickly try to pay the man to get him off my premises asap. But no he wants to lecture me about how tampons are the worst thing you can put down the toilet - catch on any little inconsistency in the drain he tells me, really bad cause they swell up and so on, and so on, and so on. Please earth open up and swallow me now!!

Why the hell does the packet say you can flush them then? The back of the plumber's invoice clearly states - They are the worst thing you can put down your toilet. Mind you I am not sure what you are supposed to do with them (and I won't go into graphic talk here to save all of us losing our lunch).

So I'm thinking that having had 3 daughters and myself living in this house for a lot of years with 2 toilets - how many tampons did we flush and have we caused some major backup catastrophe further down the drain that caused some poor person's toilet to explode (boil and bubble happened to us, worse may have happened to someone else) cause this is the first time it has happened here.

And of course, wouldn't the universe be laughing, wait until you are just about finished with the whole menstruation burden and then we sock it to you!!

So women of tampon using age beware - one day you too may have to face the plumber when your drains are blocked and it may not be roots at all.

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