Online Shopping Deliveries With A Twist - A Lovely Twist

Due to my arthritis, this year I have done pretty much all my Christmas shopping online at JBs, Borders, Dymocks, as well as some clothes shopping for me at MySize and some moisturiser from Strawberry Net and some FootKiss products from OKme. Plus quite a few online Australia Toy Stores (but not too much about that in case a certain little grand-daughter finds out).

It has been such fun getting parcels, although the queuing at the Post Office, not so much fun for my hubby.

Anyway, cutting to the chase, on Tuesday night I got home from work, tired and cranky and just looked at the pile of items, but didn't check them. I was just not in the mood.

So imagine my utter delight when last night I opened a box that I thought was the FootKiss products

to find lots of those polystyrene thingys

and hidden beneath them was not my FootKiss products but this!!!

A Grosvenor Fine Bone China set - and believe me,

these photos do not do this justice.

Isn't it beautiful - tears swelled in my eyes as I knew even before reading the note, who this was from - the beautiful Tanya at MadMother.

Earlier this year I posted about getting me some pretty. Tanya had recently lost her Mum and she generously offered to send me something of her Mums (Wise Woman). I had all but forgotten the offer with every else going on in my life, but not MM. She has struggled with Wise Woman's death and it is only now she is finding the strength to return to her Mother's house and start to pack up all the memories. Something I know that I too will struggle with when my Mum leaves this earth. And yet, she remembered me and her promise, even with all she is dealing with ...

So Tanya, from the bottom of my heart I thank you, not only for sharing part of Wise Woman with me by sending me this generous gift but for these words as well ....

I chose this set because it reminded me of you, bright and beautiful, fragile and yet strong.

Much love to you, Big Boy, Boy 1 and Boy 2 and may you have a Christmas and New Year filled with all things wonderful xxxx

p.s. I think I used a box of tissues writing this post, that is how much my heart is touched by your beautiful spirit.

It's Been A Long Time Coming - This Blog Post Has

Thank you to those who have continued to hang around waiting for me to get my blogging mojo back, not sure it is back, but here goes.

Max Updates:

Sensory Deprivation - Max is still occasionally having bouts of kittenish 'Mad Max' behaviour where he drives us all up the wall, especially our old cat Jarmie. Purely by accident, one day he got in my huge hall cupboard and went to sleep on an old quilt behind some cushions. Quite the little hidey hole, took me ages to find him as he wouldn't answer me when I called!! He now asks to get into the cupboard quite often. On days when he is having one of those moments, I put him there, nearly close the door so it is all dark and off he goes to sleep. Waking much calmer. Right now though he is tucked up in his little bed near my feet.

Toilet Antics - Max does not like it when I go to the toilet and close the door. He yowls and scratches for me to let him in. So when there is no one home I leave the door open for him to come in. His latest trick is to to climb into my pants, I know that sounds weird, but I don't know how else to explain it. My trousers and undies rest on my ankles and somehow he gets under my undies and lies down in my pants until I am ready to resume the upright position!! Strange cat.

Baby - When Max was a kitten I got him a tunnel to run through and hide in. Inside the tunnel was a little fluffy ball with a bell inside which was attached to the tunnel by a piece of elastic. Max nearly strangled himself one day by tightly wrapping the elastic around his neck, hence I cut the ball out. He has spent hours playing with the fluffy ball since then, so much so that now it is just a piece of ragged fluff. The plastic ball that encased the bell has fallen out as he slowly broke through the material (and has never been found). I thought that would be the end of 'baby' as the bell had gone, but he still runs around with this piece of fluff, tossing it in the air, carrying it in his mouth, patting it across the floor, kicking it as he walks past. He brings it to bed, drops it in his water bowl and feeds it by putting it on top of his dry food. It is so tattered but of all his toys it is the one he loves best.

Holiday - hubby and I went away for a few days and put Max and Jarmie into holiday care at a really nice cattery. Max was absolutely shattered when we picked him up, he yowled all the way home, crying his little heart out and telling me all about how much he missed us. He would not leave us alone for weeks. Yowling each time we were out of his sight. I think I was as traumatised as he was, not sure I can ever leave him again and will be looking for a house/cat sitter when and if we travel overseas next year.

Oh and Max continues to drum with the hubby any time he can.

Now for my updates:

Holiday - had a 3 week holiday in November, did none of the things I had planned in the house like painting, choosing new carpet, tidying my study, painting and so on. Did go away to beautiful Margaret River for a few days, but was evacuated (missing out on the last 2 days and 1 night) due to a huge and destructive bushfire. Thankfully the beautiful place we stay was not damaged unlike 39 house and 9 chalets and a historic home. No human lives were lost, but many of our native animals would not have been able to outrun this fire, it was fast, hot and unpredictable.

Unbelievably great view to wake up to every day, so glad it survived.

Work - still debating whether to drop to 3 days per week next year, as there is so much work and unless I can job share there is no hope of me keeping up. Going back after 3 weeks off to the same crap that was there before I left, has left me despondent to say the least.

Health - have finally finished the 2nd drug trail which did little good, and now my doctor has written to the Federal Health Dept requesting permission for me to be put on the expensive 'biological' drugs for my type of arthritis. Means I have to give myself a weekly injection, but hopefully will mean a halt to the progress of degeneration and some pain relief. Supposedly less side effects as well, which will be great as I am over the nausea and diarrhoea that hits me almost daily.

Christmas - being hosted at my eldest daughter's with all of us bringing food to share. We are doing Secret Santa again for the adults, which takes a lot of stress off choosing presents and also means people get what they want rather than random things they put in the cupboard. I get everyone to make a list of what they would like, with multiple options, so they don't know exactly what they will be getting on the day. My biggest grand-daughter helped me with the draw which was nice.

Other stuff - there are other bits and pieces I will be sharing soon, but now is not quite the time.

Oh, and I have gone darker with my hair colour, loving the colour and shine.

So once again, thanks for visiting and leaving me messages of support, especially MyBabyJohn, Elephant Child and Kam and I will try and be back here often and try and get back to reading your blogs as well. xxx

GUESS WHO'S 1 TODAY???

If you guessed Max, then you were right. As he was the kitten of my middle daughter's neighbour's cat, I know the day he was born.

He has settled down so much over the last couple of months, there are fewer and fewer mad runs through the house, but he still loves to play. His latest love, is a fluffy ball with a bell inside, he runs around with it in his mouth before tossing it into the air and batting it along the floor.

He is just so grown up now that yesterday he took on the role of supervisor to my hubby!! Hubby had to take the range hood apart so he could do a spot of painting/touch-up on the wall. Max was up there in a flash to make sure hubby did it all to plan. Here are the photos I just had to take.

Now Dad are you doing it right. What about this bit down here?

Supervising from the top of the fridge!

I'm Still Here

Thanks to @mybabyjohn and @the elephant's child for checking on me during my absence, and to my youngest daughter and her girlfriend Kam for taking the time to see if I am okay as they have missed my blog posts. Love you all xxx

The quick low down is that I am battling my arthritis at the moment, and nothing I do seems to be improving my pain levels at great deal. However, the trigger point acupuncture that the physio is doing, is releasing some of my muscle pain and I am confident that over time this will continue to help.

I don't really want to blog endlessly about how bad I am feeling so that is the reason I have not been here much. Nor do I feel inspired to be here when I feel so low.

But I love that people care, it makes me cry a little but in a good way - if you know what I mean.

Now to put a funny spin on the day I would like to share some photos of funny face (aka my younger daughter). Funny face tends to pick up your camera when you are not around and take photos for you to find at a later date. These are from a few years ago, but I found them again recently. Now I haven't asked her permission, but hey, I'm sure she won't mind. The first 5 she left on my eldest daughter's camera and the last 4 on mine - all on the same day.

And these two show you how beautiful she is when she is not pulling funny faces.

Father's Day And The Issues It Raised

So I rang my father to wish him a Happy Father's Day and got off the phone totally spun out.

The last time I saw my father I did this post, other posts including this one after my mother-in-law's funeral, show who my father is. This is persona he has shown me most of my life, right from my childhood (this post which was one of my earlier posts).

Today's phone call was done with duty in mind, I feel I have to at least acknowledge him for without him I would not have been born. I dread these phone calls, birthdays/ Christmas/ Father's Day, they always reinforce my opinion of him. One I have had since childhood.

Then today, just before our phone call ended, he did something that has left me feeling confused. He asked how I was going, he expressed concern about my hubby, he admitted the last time he was too pushy and acknowledged he was the reason it all happened. The thing is, I could tell he really meant it, not that someone had prompted him to say something, but that he had actually thought about it, about me and was concerned. He said he wished that we had meaningful conversations, that I could talk to him about my life.

In 56 years of life, I have never felt so unsure of my perceptions of who my father is.

Sharing Some Bloggy Love

Sharing some bloggy love again today, snippets of blog posts I have loved over the past week. If you haven't already seen them, pop over and share some love too.

Tenille from Help Mum - is taking my language with rhubarb and yoghurt muffins, I love rhubarb.

Delores from The Feathered Nest has a couple of posts that really spoke to my heart, here is one and here is the other. Delores is one of the most prolific bloggers on my blog list, and she is always worth a visit.

Now you know I love Beth at BabyMac and this Vlog of hers, well it says what all of us think about anonymous commenters - don't be scared by Beth's face before you press play, she really keeps her cool while telling it like it is. Way to go Beth.

This post at Jemikaan is worth a visit. It touches my heart in many ways, her journey feels so familiar to me. It questions how much we should share here in cyberspace. But if it was not for us putting it out there, would we make the connections that in some small way sometimes helps us move forward? Her follow up post is also worth a read.

Kirrily at Sunny Side Up reposted from 2008 - I am so glad she did. I don't want to give anything a way, so pop on over and have a read.

and last but in no way least Joan from Anything Fits A Naked Man asks a question that all of us should contemplate.

A Birthday Post & Something Old Is New Again

Today is my eldest grand-daughter's 15th birthday, it seems just like yesterday that I was there when she was born. I am so proud of the person she has become, even with the hurdles that have been placed in her way, she is truly amazing. Happy 15th Birthday C, I will always love you to the moon and back.

I wrote this post back in 2009 and today seemed like a good day to bring it back as part of Something Old Is New Again.

Moments in Time - My First Grandchild

Dear C

I remember so clearly the day your Mum came and told us she was pregnant - she had not long been living away from home, she was just 18 and she bought her best friend with her for support. Somehow I knew what she was coming to tell us. I think she was worried we would be angry - but how could I be angry, I had my first child at 17 - why would I cast stones. Did I worry about her being a young Mum - of course I did, it is not an easy road, but then being a parent at any age is a challenge.

Not long after the big news, we found out that your Mum was going to be a single mum - your Dad was not going to be part of the journey. I knew that it would be okay as your Mum is a survivor and she would do the best she could even though she was on her own.

Your Mum moved back in with us a few months before you were born and we got to see first hand how her tummy swelled, we got to talk to her about the doctors visits and I got to go the ultrasound when you were just 18 weeks old - how excited I was to see you moving about with all the boxes ticked to show you were healthy and well.

I got to help Mum chose your clothes, pram and car seat - we got your crib and had fun getting it all ready for when you arrived.

We got to talk with your Mum while she chose names - Lachlan James was going to be your name if you were a boy - and a boy is what we thought you were going to be - the Dr had told your Mum he thought she was having a boy following one of the ultrasounds he did in his surgery about 6 weeks before you were born. And so I would rub your Mum's tummy and talk to you and call you Lachlan - I wanted you to know your name and how much you were loved even before you were born.

Your Mum and I went to 'birth classes' together as I was going to be Mum's 'birth partner' - I was so excited as I had never been involved in someone else giving birth - and it is not the same as when you do it yourself.

Mum got bigger and bigger and then her feet began to swell with fluid and I was worried that her kidneys were not coping, but the Dr kept saying all was okay - which really wasn't totally true.

Your due date came and went and your Mum got bigger and so they decided to induce you. I took Mum to hospital the night before you were born and was to come back in the morning to be there for the birth. I arrived at the hospital at 8 o'clock and was so excited when I was walking in to see your Mum - today was the day that we were going to meet. The drugs they used on Mum worked really fast and she was already in labour when I got there - but they also did something strange to your Mum and she kept lapsing in and out of consciousness - I was so worried that something was really wrong - and the nurses didn't know what was happening either, so they stopped the drugs - but your Mum still was only semi conscious most of the time.

The doctor arrived around 11.30 to check Mum out as the nurses had rung him and your Mum managed to say 'I want to push' and of course the Dr said 'No you don't'. Then he checked and said 'Oh yes she does' and so we all rushed around to the delivery room, nurses and Dr and me pushing your Mum's bed, whizzing past other people walking down the corridors.

We somehow managed to get your Mum from her bed onto the delivery bed and then the Dr was saying 'Push' and your Mum was still not fully conscious and then the Dr said 'OK I need forceps' and suddenly your Mum roused herself and said 'I can do this' and she did - with just a little help from the vacuum to get you out the last little bit.

I felt like I was going to burst, I was so excited and then the Dr said 'Oh I made a mistake' and thought he had done something wrong with Mum or you and then he said 'Its a girl' and I laughed - I was so relived that there was nothing really wrong, just that he thought you were a boy. Mum and I cried when we saw you - Mum could hardly hold you as she was still so spaced out from the drugs, and you have some very hearty cries to let us know you were here.

I got to cut your cord and see you weighed while the Dr and nurses looked after your Mum - I got to cuddle you close while your Mum whispered your name to you - luckily she had a girl's name picked out too. I got to give you your first bath while Mum was recovering - they wouldn't let her out of bed in case she fainted.

Words can not express the love I felt for you on this special day - I knew that we would be bonded for eternity - you are my precious chicken and no matter how old you get - I will always love you to the moon and back - and just know that nothing will ever be able to change that.

xxx

The Elephant In The Room

Last week in my PMT on Steroids post, I mentioned my teddies and my elephant with pink spots and promised to tell you about her.

Now I am not a big hoarder of toys, but I do have 3 teddies and a pink rabbit, which are not from my childhood, and my latest addition is my elephant.

When my littlest grand-daughter was born, her Mum and Dad lived in Sydney, on the East Coast of Australia, a 4 hour flight from here.

I was determined to build the same connection to her as I have with my eldest grand-daughter and so there were many flights across to visit after she was born. In fact I racked up a fair few frequent flier points in the year before they moved back to Perth.

Each time I was over there, I would take my daughter shopping for baby things at one of the big baby shops. Lot of practical things were purchased and the odd fun item. On one visit I spied this cute and cuddly (so soft that even I loved cuddling it) elephant with pink spots. It had the cutest little face and I could not resist buying it for my littlest munchkin. She still plays with her elephant nearly 3 years later.

So imagine my delight when out buying some baby gifts for one of my staff members, when I spied this little elephant all the way over here in Perth. I couldn't resist - again!!! And so she now shares the chair with the teddies.

My grand-daughter saw her the other day and wanted to know how her elephant had got to my place - lol.

We are never too old to cuddle a teddy, or in this case an elephant!!

Could you resist this cute face and cheeky smile??

Healthy Gardens - One of our frogs

Hubby was out reorgansing his orchids the other day when I heard him shout - bring the camera.

Every year we find a couple of lovely frogs hiding somewhere in the orchids. Here is the latest one - isn't he a beauty?

I am sure he is smiling in one photo - happy little frog!

Motorbike Frog - Litoria moorei

Find our more about frogs of WA here - click on the frog sound button and enjoy the chorus we regularly hear in our backyard.

Spring Has Sprung

My sinuses are on overdrive at the moment and Spring is only just officially blooming.

Every day I walk into our house after work and all I can smell is Jasmine, it is having the best blooming season ever and my sinuses are not impressed. The flowers are stunning, and the scent is heady but maybe not a good garden plant for me.

Still it is staying, it has grown so lusciously over the old tree stump in our backyard that I can not bear to kill it off. Look at all those buds just waiting for burst forth.

Happy Spring Days, my sympathies if you suffer like I do!!

Another 10 Year Anniversary - Something Old Is New Again

Today is the anniversary of the life changing car accident that my grand-daughter luckily survived. Sunday 4th September is her 15th birthday.

She rang me tonight to chat and I asked her how her day had been. She told me she had found the day a little hard as it was 10 years since her accident. She wrote about it in her school journal and tried to see the positives, like she is still alive. I try and do that too. We could have so easily lost her. Somehow she survived and she tells me that her Grumpy Eddie came to see her so she knew she would be alright. 10 years ago was the day that Grumpy Eddie was cremated, it was the reason she was not with her mother or us, as the funeral service was in a country town. She knows that, but she still believes he came to visit her in hospital - and maybe, just maybe he did and gave her back to us.

I wrote this recycled post in May 2010, it was titled - Excuse The Bragging But A Proud Grandma Lives Here.

A few weeks ago my eldest grand-daughter invited me to attend a drama performance at her high school. Yesterday was the big day.

By the standards of most high school productions, it wasn't the grandest, it wasn't the biggest, it wasn't the most well attended but it sure brought tears to this grandma's eyes and pride to her heart.

As I have blogged before, just before her 5th birthday my grand-daughter was involved in a car accident that left her with acquired brain injury. Through this she suffers from learning disabilities, weakness in one side and epilepsy among other things. She has lots of things stacked against her, but she also has, what I see, as a lot of qualities that other teenagers don't necessarily have. The one that stands out the most to me is her generous and beautiful heart and soul. Yesterday, this was on show for all to see.

Their were only 5 actors in the production, all of them were from the Education Support Centre at the high school. Along with their drama teacher, the students came up with the concept, worked out to plot line, and wrote the play.

The plot was simple, there was a king with 3 princess daughters - each of them was beautiful but conceited and mean. They played pranks on each other, they fought and they yelled. The king was worried about which princess would rule his kingdom when he died - he couldn't see any good qualities in any of them. The king devised a plan and let his daughter's know that he was hosting a ball and whichever daughter showed themselves to be the most noble on the night would be the one that ruled. The daughters continued to fight and play tricks on each other right up to the night of the ball. Then their fairy godmother appeared to tell them to look at themselves as they should be ashamed that they had so much and yet acted as if they had so little. That night at the ball each princess showed the king just how perfect they could be, because they now saw how wrong they had been and acknowledge how much they loved each other. The king was happy and announced that all 3 would rule the kingdom together.

Each of the student actors had very few lines as it was a narrated story with the drama teacher narrating. Each of the princesses had a beautiful costume loaned from the local theatre company. The props were few, the stage dressing minimal. 5 actors performed to the best of their abilities. The audience laughed at the comedy. The audience occasionally strained to hear the spoken lines as the actors were very nervous. There was one princess who acted her heart out, who remembered all her lines and needed no prompting but who also held the hand of another princess when she was too scared to come out, who while standing in the wings quietly encouraged the others and reminded them what to do. That princess was mine.

I know she had made her Mum's life unbearable yesterday morning as she was having a meltdown about the day, but when it came time, she did it, she did it well and she also cared about those performing with her. She didn't get caught up in the 'it's all about me' attitude that so often comes with teenagers and let's face it some adults. She truly made this Grandma's heart proud.

For MyBabyJohn - The Antics of Max

This post is just for you MyBabyJohn - thanks for your continued support and comments on my blog.

I friend of ours has asked us to sell his drum kit while he is away in America. Max has smelt every single piece of it and then popped inside the bass drum (there is a small hole, which is meant to be there, and in he popped and out he hopped and in he popped and out he hopped, over and over again!). Now I should also mention the drum was not standing up like it normally would in which case the said hole is near the floor. No it was on it's back, so to speak, and the hole was up in on top!

Max has some toy mice, which he has loved to near extinction, so I bought him some new ones, one of which somehow got it's head stuck in the door of the fridge and Max spent some time trying to pull it free. Hubby eventually released the poor mouse so Max could throw it in the air and run around with it in his mouth.

Max also has a unique style when using the litter tray, he stands up rather than squatting like other cats, resting his front paws on the cover of the tray. He also digs all the way to China to make the hole and then when covering the contents up again. Hubby reckons he will need a mining licence soon - lol.

As previously mentioned Max likes to ensure that our waste bins in our studies no longer stand upright but rather rest on their sides. He also does this with the toilet roll basket in the toilet that holds the new toilet rolls. Once he has knocked the basket over he then proceeds to take a toilet roll out for a run. Shredded toilet paper is becoming the style of the hall just outside the loo.

Max also has to come into the bathroom with me when I shower, he sits on the bathmat waiting for me to finish then rubs against my wet legs before sitting down to watch while I dry myself. When I leave the bathroom he then runs as fast as he can to beat me to the bedroom where he jumps on the bed to watch me dress. He also has to come to the toilet with me and if I close the door so he can't come in, he cries on the other side.

Max also claws my hubby's thongs, running shoes and eats the laces on his work shoes.

Max loves exploring and on numerous times has accidentally been shut in a kitchen cupboard. Luckily for him, each time not for long.

I can say that the mandarin peel worked and Max left my flowers alone for a whole week. I can also say that he is calming down a lot with less Mad Max runs around the house - they are not totally gone but definitely on the decline.

Sharing Some More Blog Love

These are my picks of the week, if you haven't already visited - pop on over and share some love.

River from Drifting Through Life has moved home and is feeling more settled, and is even back at work. The tenant before her though left a legacy of birds behind - one would have thought the owner would have cleaned but River in her usual 'lets get it done' persona has not let that stand in her way of making this her new home. Pop on over and read through this week's posts and share some bloggy love.

We need to send some cyberhugs to Farmer's Wifey, her week started well, but has been steadily going downhill since. Mind you I had to smile at the image of her in her hubster's jocks because the washing machine won't work. Love you Farmer's Wifey xxx

This particular post struck a chord with me over at Under The Yardarm, we take so much for granted in our lives and sometimes when we least expect it, we have even more clarity about just how lucky we are to live in this wonderful land.

Tenille at Help Mum gives a timely warning for those of you using WordPress, a viral worm that is a little hard to pin down. She also lets you know how to check if it is hidden on your blog.

There are lots more goodies out there, just have a look in my Sharing the Love feed - just over there to the right.

Happy reading xxx

PMT on Steroids

In yesterday's post entitled "I Nearly Blogged About", this would have been the stuff and nonsense I mentioned that was in my brain for last Tuesday.

Menopausal Madness is overtaking my brain cells. I mean this is like PMT on Steroids - the RAGE people, the RAGE is alive and well right here in my head!!!

Now I don't want to scare you, especially those of you who are years and years from the big M, but truly this is just so out of the box for me.

Back in the years when I had periods I occasionally suffered PMT, I say occasionally as it certainly was not every time or even every 2nd time (my family may beg to differ but I do warn them that the RAGE is here - so on your heads people). And when I did, it was a mild grumpiness with those around me and of course the odd stranger who did stupid things on the road or in shopping centres or ... you know what I mean. Most of the time I kept it to myself and never actually harmed anything except the odd slammed door or muttering under my breath.

But this, this is HUGE, I mean last Sunday I could visualise myself doing the famous Psycho scene on my next door neighbour - you know Don Burke with the chainsaw and Russian Bride! Okay, he wasn't naked in the shower or in black and white, but there was the music and the screwdriver and me and him sprawled on his driveway with his clothes on, but blood lots of blood.

RAGE .. it is the only way I can describe it. I mean, I could see myself grabbing a screwdriver and repeatedly stabbing this man in the back. Don't ask me why a screwdriver, I don't have one handy but that is what was in my head.

I hear you ask why? What had this poor man done to earn my wrath? Well it was a lovely sunny day, so my window was open in the study while I worked on a project and all I can hear is him and that bloody gate and him and the vacuum cleaner and him and the grunting while gardening and him and the laughing and him and the ... you get my drift.

Enter the idiots on trailbikes zooming illegally around the suburb. Well they truly pushed me over the edge, if it hadn't been for the teddies sitting on the chair in my study looking at me with those concerned eyes, well, people it would have been a massacre!!

Instead I went and laid down on the bed and cuddled Max in the afternoon sunshine and did deep breathing. Prison term avoided. Lets hope I have the strength next time the RAGE hits!!

I can tell you the teddies were very relieved, and so was the elephant with pink spots - and no I have not been drinking. I will tell you about my elephant one day soon - I promise.

10 Years Ago

10 Years Ago today this man left us.

10 years on, we still miss him.

This man was my father in law, he was funny, loving and kind.

He was the strong influence who made my man the man he is.

It is because of him that my man worships me and loves me unconditionally. It is because of him that my man takes care of me and my family so well. For that is how this man loved his wife and family.

Tonight we remember him.

Right now his son is shedding a quiet tear because he suddenly remembered the date. It is not that he does not think of his father often, in fact he misses him even more now than when he left. But dates creep up on us sometimes and catch us by surprise. Even I who normally remember dates had forgotten.

So for my 450th post, it seems fitting that I dedicate it to you Eddie, I am sorry we almost forgot the date, but we will never, ever forget you. xxx

I Nearly Blogged About ....

On Monday, I nearly blogged about the results of The Block, had the post written in my head as I lay in bed on Sunday night. Then life got in the way.

On Tuesday, I nearly blogged about the antics of Max, my hayfever and just stuff and nonsense.

On Wednesday, I nearly blogged about, well now I come to think about it - I didn't even turn the computer on - lol

On Thursday, I nearly blogged about a day in the country with work.

On Friday (today) I finally blogged about - well nothing really.

It has just been one of those weeks.

On the weekend I will be blogging about sharing some bloggy love, some personal stuff and maybe my 450th post, because this one is 449!!

Hope you week has been more 'blog productive'. Off to read some of what you have been saying now.

Sharing Some More Blog Love

This week has been an emotional one for me, so today I went out into cyberspace (blogs and FB) to see if I could find any inspiration to kick start my weekend, or just to make me smile. Happy to say I found me some and here are a few I'd like to share

On my friend Amanda's FB page I found this wonderful link which is a video of Amanda's friend Amy's stunning macro photography. This talented photographer can also be found on Red Bubble - it is well worth a look.

Talking about Amanda, she is one creative lady as well and has just started a new blog about creativity - feel like being creatively inspired? Well pop on over and share some blog love with Amanda today.

Now Farmer's Wife over at Life In The Country is talking my sort of soup - what a yummy easy recipe. I'll be sure to try this one.

Now at 5' 7" I am not a short arse, but apparently if you need to know if you are, check out This Is Taryn and see if you qualify. Love your work Taryn!!

And newsflash, just added - you have to check out this amazingly beautiful post over at NappyDaze. Beautiful, beautiful words Donna - left me with a tear in my eye.

So there's my bloggy love for the week. Oh and hubby just went shopping and because chocolate is my comfort food of choice I asked for Cadbury's coconut rough and he came home with Peppermint Cream - because that's what you get when there is not the one asked for??? Love you honey, but next time just get me plain.

Heavy Hearted

Today is the first anniversary of the loss of my unborn grandson (at around 16-17 weeks gestation). My heart is heavy with the loss of my little frog prince.

I know that a lot of people, including some in my family I suppose, will not understand how I can still be mourning a grandson that I never got to meet. One that was lost so early in his development.

I suppose I wonder that myself sometimes.

But I remember the joy at the phone call from my daughter just after she had a positive pregnancy test.

I didn't know it was a a little boy until just before he left. But, just like his parents, I was already dreaming of holding him, of bonding, of loving him as much as my 2 grand-daughters.

I felt their pain when it all began to go wrong. I gave them my shoulder so they had someone strong to lean on. I cuddled my littlest grand-daughter when her parents had to go to hospital, knowing they would come home without him. I know how much it tore my daughter's heart out, I know the emptiness she still feels.

My grandchildren mean so much to me. Their unconditional love, the bond I have with both of them. There was room for one more, and so I miss him, the thought of him, the smell of him, the warmth of him.

Sweet rest my little frog prince, Grandma misses you so much and will always love you. May angels look after you forever. xxx

Something Old Is New Again - Recycling Old Posts No 3

Recycling another old post this one from early in 2009.

This week I have been thinking a lot about my family and how memories can be made from simple things. I hope that my children and grand-children can always remember the good times more easily than the bad.

It seems way back in early 2009 I was struggling a little and so I wrote this to remind myself that over all I did really have a great childhood. Certainly there were a lot less pressures than it seems there are today.

Good Childhood Memories - 11 January 2009

On going back through my blog of late, I seem to be in a maudlin frame of mind and it may seem I have only bad memories of my childhood. So here are some of the good ones!

Staying over at Grandma Win's house and having afternoon tea with my own little teapot and cup and saucer - real leaf tea too with milk and sugar.

Having breakfast in Grandma Win's little sun room - although runny eggs were a little bit of a downside - but the white toast soldiers with real butter to dip in the eggs made up for that.

Having a really, really big yard to play in with a huge plum tree that we made cubbies under (it was more like a bush than a tree - I think it was a plum tree - Mum if you read this you can correct me if I am wrong?)

Wearing beautiful hand made clothes my Mum made - I was a bit of a fashion plate in primary school - especially the yellow bib and brace circle skirt with the white blouse with puffed sleeves and with rows of embroidery on the bottom of the skirt.

Always having pets - especially Angel the cat and Jenny the dog - and a sheep and a parrot and finches.

Living in a 2-storey house and running up and down the stairs (and sliding down the bottom banister - never had the nerve for the top one!

Dad's train set - although we weren't not really allowed to play with it, but it was still heaps of fun - and I think there were times I did play with it when Dad didn't know.

Having a piano and being privileged enough to have piano lessons.

Listening to my Mum play 'Rustle of Spring' on the piano.

Having lots of great friends like Sally, Marcia, Anita, Dianne, Jill and Linda in Primary School and Anna, Gloria, Donna, Claire, Sue and others at Iona.

Having the freedom to go to the library in town on the bus all on my own from about 8.

My Grandma Win taking me to the pictures at the Astor in Mt Lawley and seeing Sound of Music - my very first big person's movie and still a favourite today.

Grandma Grace and her budgies.

Grandpa Jim when his pants fell down while he was shutting the gate.

Mum loving the Beatles and having music in our house.

Mum's little green car with the pop in side window thingys.

Having our own proper cubby house that Dad made, with real windows and a door and it was like a big room in the back yard that grown ups could stand in - that's how big it was.

Playing with Marcia and sliding down the grassy slope in our yard on boards.

Pretending I had boobs and wearing my cousins second hand bra and stuffing it with tissues and going to a birthday party in Grade 7.

Getting Bella the doll from my Aunty Verna who's husband was in the diplomatic core - Bella came all the way from Switzerland - she was a beautiful doll with real hair.

Watching our own firecracker show in our own backyard on Guy Fawkes Night - that was when Perth was allowed to have crackers - especially the catherine wheels.

Playing 'knuckle-bones' at school with my friends.

The freedom of growing up in the 60s and 70s before everyone became so scared of bad things happening to their children.

I'm sure there are more to come - stayed tuned.

The Interwebs, One Of The Things I Love

I have noticed lately, when popping around commenting, how many people that I know through following them and commenting on their blogs are now following and commenting on blogs that I have followed since the beginning.

It is sort of nice, that other bloggers either see people in my 'Sharing the Love' section, or when they comment on my blog and go off to find them too. Just like I do when visiting.

The physical space that divides us, seems so small when we connect and weave interwebs in cyberspace. How nice if one day I got to meet every single one of you. It sort of feels like some of you I know very very well and yet we have never ever met.

Max Proofing - Whatever Works

Max likes to eat flowers, more than once I have come home/woken to find either the vase knocked over and water everywhere, or leaves and petals, sometimes even whole flower heads, strewn on the bench.

Yesterday I bought myself some lovely yellow and white roses, got them home and within 2 minutes of me starting to put them in the vase, Max was there on the bench trying to eat the foliage!!

Once the vase of flowers was ready, I moved them to another part of the bench, thinking maybe he wouldn't notice. Right!!

So after numerous times of me getting him off the bench, I ended up putting the vase in the bathroom and shutting the door. Sort of defeated the purpose of having some nice flowers in the house.

A little later I was eating a mandarin and Max jumped on my knee, smelt the citrus, wrinkled his nose and jumped down again. This reminded me, derr, that cats don't like citrus.

Here now is my vase of roses ... and so far, Max has left them alone.

So okay, not the best decorating idea, but I can ignore them and just concentrate on the roses.

I Think Spring Is Coming

Today is a balmy sunny day, around 23C, with a brisk breeze, apparently storms are on the horizon from tonight with rain for most of next week. But today, well a little taste of the Spring that is coming I think. I've done my washing and it is almost dry, not bad for a Winter's day.

We need a long winter here in Perth to top up our water supply dams, but somehow I don't think that is going to be the case, if today is anything to go by.

My hayfever is already popping, with itchy eyes and ears and nose. Hang in their Winter we really need you to for just a little while longer.

The Russian Bride?

One of our next door neighbours is a woman in her late 50s, she doesn't appear to have a husband. She shuffles, a lot, I mean how hard is it to pick up your feet? I surmise that she drinks a lot, given the amount of cans and bottles I hear tipped into the recycling bin, or she eats a lot of baked beans!!

She has a son, early 40s, I call him Don Burke, he is the one that butchered my climbing rose, and he gardens with a chain saw rather than a shovel. Now he is a newer addition to the her household and our neighbourhood. He apparently works overseas, well that is what he told hubby, so he is only here for a week or two very month or so. He has an annoying voice and laugh, and the number of bottles and cans going into the recycling increase expediently when he is home!! He obviously likes baked beans too.

Now I think he has a Russian Bride, the Sixty Minutes episode a few weeks back just rings true, she has to be one. Why? Well she has an accent, definitely Russian sounding, she has bleached blonde hair. She wears hot pink velour tracksuits. She doesn't drive. She doesn't work. And I keep hearing her say things like, you have to love me because I cook for you. She looks to be in her early 20s.

So what do you think - does Don Burke have a Russian Bride??

Sharing Some Blog Love Again

So here is my bloggy love round up for this week.

Baby Mac - I can not get enough of this wonderful blogger - she cracked me up with this post, Only Biker Boots in the Village

And as Winter keeps coming in Perth, this delightful post on Made With Love about Spring, brightened up my day.

Diminishing Lucy was asking about Drama Queens, do you have any in your life - Yep I sure do!!

And then The Mummy Autobiography offers to show me how to make a Three Minute Chocolate Cake in a Mug - yum!!

Big Words has been receiving Help Mail from a certain celeb, pop over and check out her reply here

Thea at Do I Really Wanna Blog has a brand new look - pretty swish Thea.

The beautiful Allie at In A Beautiful Pea Green Boat is just home from having her baby boy and has some random thoughts to share. Make sure you scroll down to see some pics of the beautiful Mumma and the latest edition to the little family.

And lastly, but not least, Cate at I'll Think of a Title Later is celebrating 100 posts, you will find out so much about Cate it will leave your head reeling, your funny bone tickled and hopefully if you leave a little bloggy love in her comments she will be around for at least 100 more. Happy 100th Post Birthday Cate.

London's Burning

Image and article here

Who would have thought that the old nursery rhyme about the Great Fire of London would now be true again?

My heart breaks for the young man shot dead and for his family, I understand the initial anger felt by his community. Marching to protest, peacefully, well I understand that too.

I sort of even understand if they attack police stations or police cars.

But what I don't understand is this mob mentality that now means innocent people are losing their homes, their livelihoods, that old historic buildings are now burnt out shells.

Sure I get that Britain is undergoing some major fallout from the Global Financial Crisis, but people, these are first world problems. Grow up before martial law is enforced.

There are people dying in Africa, they are not rioting, they are leaving their starving children, choosing the strongest to take with them to try and survive. Grow up and appreciate what you have, stop the riots and turn your attention to those in the third world who will never, ever have what you have.

Something Old Is New Again - Recycling Old Posts No 2

Hubby and I have just returned to work after 2 weeks leave. For the last week of our holidays I had a heavy cold, which did little to help my arthritic bones. The love and caring my hubby showed me during that week, well really all the time, but I was reflecting on it a lot last week made me think again about how my mother-in-law crumbled when she lost her soul mate.

So this week I am recycling the December 2008 post following her death. Do you live with your soul mate, and how would you cope if they died?

Can Life Go On When Your Soul Mate Dies - 3/12/2008

My Mother in Law died in the early hours of Tuesday morning and she was only 75. In 2001 her husband and my Father in Law died aged 68 after a short battle with lung cancer. He was so positive that he could beat it, but by the time it was diagnosed it was not able to be treated with anything other than mild chemo which only delayed the end and before he died it had spread to his spine.

My in-laws were soul mates, each had their strengths and weaknesses that complimented each other. My f-i-l was the outgoing, strong, funny one and my m-i-l was the shy one who stood in his shadow. She was also the one who tempered his outrageous behaviour when it was required just as he boosted her confidence through his undying love for her. I'll never forget seeing them dance the waltz together at my eldest daughter's wedding, it was like watching perfect unison, eyes only for each other and never a foot wrong. They glided across the floor so in tune with each other it was awesome.

When he died my m-i-l took 2 years to remove his towel and toiletries from the bathroom and to sort through and dispose of his clothes. She tried really hard to be strong, but in reality her heart was broken. She had believed that he would get well and their life would go on.

Not long after my f-i-l had been diagnosed, she had suffered a minor stroke, and not wanting to take up his time while he was fighting the good fight, she didn't seek any therapy. The result was that she was left with a speech impediment and was often hard to understand. This made her retreat further into her shell.

She had never learned to use an atm, or to do the banking or anything to do with finance and really didn't like to drive. To be honest having driven with her once that wasn't a bad thing.

Because he had been so sure that he would survive the odds, he hadn't taken the time to teach her the things she needed to do to survive his death. My husband and his siblings did their best and took over as much as they could, my s-i-l took her to the bank every week and stood with her while she used the atm, but even then she struggled. It is not that she was not an intelligent women, after all she has raised 4 children and run a household and had even returned to work when the children were older. It was just she was struggling with her loss.

In 2005 she was diagnosed with Parkinson Syndrome and had to move to a 'hostel'. And so for the last 3 years we have watched her fade - quite literally - she seemed to shrink in height and weight, she no longer got her hair coloured and so the grey showed, she never went outside and so she became pale. Her already soft voice got quieter until in the last few weeks she no longer could talk.

We got angry, we got frustrated, we couldn't understand, how could she just give up and want to die. We wanted to yell at her, shake her, make her understand she was a women who had given birth and raised 4 children, she had 13 grandchildren and 18 great grandchildren, she had much to live for.

But her soul mate was gone - and we all had our own lives and no matter how much you want to make time, there are only so many hours in the day and so much of your own stuff you need to do to get through your life, that we could only give her hours at the most.

It seems she did not tell us how unwell she was, she was never diagnosed with anything other than her stroke and Parkinson Syndrome, but eventually she stopped walking, eating, reading, even interacting with visitors was too much. The week or so before she died it became obvious there was more than giving up wrong with her, but she had never said a word, and the diagnosis of cancer came too late, and to be honest even at the end we didn't know where the cancer was as she wouldn't or couldn't let us find out. She died peacefully in her sleep, and it is my hope that she is now reunited with the love of her life.

It also raises questions in my mind, my husband is my soul mate and I am his. Even though we both work full time and have interests that are not linked to each other, we are two parts of a whole. Can a half continue to live after the death of the other half? I know how to use an atm, understand excel etc, but let my husband do the banking - after all he is an accountant. I drive an amazing car and can't see that ever being a problem. But what if like my m-i-l my heart is so broken by my loss that I can't find the strength to go on?

My husband is the one who holds me when I hurt, brings me tissues when I cry, cooks my dinner when I am tired. He laughs at my silliness, and indulges my retail therapy. He overlooks my shortcomings. And he loves me just the way I am, when sometimes I have trouble loving myself. How do you cope if and when you lose that person, the one made for you?

I believe that I do have the strength to continue if my husband is no longer here, but what it I don't? Can a broken heart ever really be mended?

Back To Work

Well today I am back to work after 2 weeks of leave. Part of me would just like to stay home, but part of me is ready to go back.

The thing is though, I have been working while on leave, doing some graphic design for an upcoming project, can't say more than that at the mo. I have really enjoyed it, so much so that I wish I could just stay home and do a little work like this all the time.

A few months ago, I did some work for Childhood 101 in the form of their e-Book Art not Craft, and thoroughly enjoyed that as well.

Now I am supposed to do graphic design at work, but I have moved more into administration and have been flogging the dead weight of implementing the sign system which no matter how much I do, just seems never to have an end in sight.

So real graphic design, while on my job description, is not really part of my job any more. And I miss it, I really do.

If I was just confident enough to sell myself to the bloggersphere/cyberspace as a graphic designer then maybe I could get some small jobs. I don't want to do web design, I mean I can do it, but that is not my interest. It is working with words and pictures and illustrations and making them look great, be easy to read, turning them into books and the like.

Maybe one day?